PONTIFICAL COUNCIL FOR THE
FAMILY
PREPARATION
FOR THE SACRAMENT
OF MARRIAGE
INTRODUCTION
1. Preparation for marriage, for married and family life, is of great
importance for the good of the Church. In fact, the sacrament of Marriage
has great value for the whole Christian community and, in the first place,
for the spouses whose decision is such that it cannot be improvised or
made hastily. In the past, this preparation could count on the support
of society which recognized the values and benefits of marriage. Without
any difficulties or doubts, the Church protected the sanctity of marriage
with the awareness that this sacrament represented an ecclesial guarantee
as the living cell of the People of God. At least in the communities that
were truly evangelized, the Church's support was solid, unitary and compact.
In general, separations and marriage failures were rare, and divorce was
considered a social "plague" (cf. Gaudium et Spes = GS,
47).
Today, on the contrary, in many cases, we are witnessing an accentuated
deterioration of the family and a certain corrosion of the values of marriage.
In many nations, especially economically developed ones, the number of
marriages has decreased. Marriage is usually contracted at a later age
and the number of divorces and separations is increasing, even during the
first years of married life. All this inevitably leads to a pastoral concern
that comes up repeatedly: Are the persons contracting marriage really prepared
for it? The problem of preparation for the sacrament of Marriage and the
life that follows emerges as a great pastoral need, first for the sake
of the spouses, for the whole Christian community and for society. Therefore,
interest in, and initiatives for providing adequate and timely answers
to preparation for the sacrament of Marriage are growing everywhere.
2. Through on-going contact with the Episcopal Conferences and the Bishops
in various meetings, and especially their "ad limina" visits,
the Pontifical Council for the Family has carefully followed the pastoral
concern regarding the preparation and celebration of the sacrament of Marriage
and the life that follows. The Council has been repeatedly asked to offer
an instrument for the preparation of Christian engaged persons which the
present document represents. The Council has also drawn on the contributions
from many Apostolic Movements, Groups and Associations working for the
pastoral care of the family who have offered their support, advice and
experience for the preparation of these guidelines.
Marriage preparation constitutes a providential and favourable
period for those oriented toward this Christian sacrament, and a Kayrós,
i.e., a period in which God calls upon the engaged and helps them discern
the vocation to marriage and family life. The engagement period is set
within the context of a rich evangelization process. In fact, questions
that affect the family converge in the life of the engaged, the future
spouses. They are therefore invited to understand the meaning of the responsible
and mature love of the community of life and love which their family will
be, a real domestic church which will contribute toward enriching the whole
Church.
The importance of this preparation involves a process of evangelization
which is both maturation and deepening in the faith. If the faith is weak
or almost nonexistent (cf. Familiaris Consortio = FC 68),
it must be revived. Thorough, patient instruction that arouses and nourishes
the ardor of a living faith cannot be excluded. Especially where the environment
has become paganized, it will be particularly advisable to offer
a "journey of faith, which is similar to the catechumenate" (FC
66), and a presentation of the fundamental Christian truths that may help
acquire or strengthen the maturity of the faith of the persons contracting
marriage. It would be desirable if the favourable moment of marriage preparation
could be transformed, as a sign of hope, into a New Evangelization for
the future families.
3. This particular attention is highlighted by the teachings of the
Second Vatican Council (GS 52), the guidelines of the Papal Magisterium
(FC 66), the ecclesial norms themselves (Codex Iuris Canonici
= CIC, can. 1063; Codex Canonum Ecclesiarum Orientalium =
CCEO, can. 783), the Catechism of the Catholic Church (n. 1632),
and other documents of the Magisterium, including the Charter of the
Rights of the Family. The two most recent documents of the Papal Magisterium
— the Letter to Families Gratissimam Sane and the Encyclical Evangelium
Vitae (= EV) — constitute a notable aid for our task.
In response to repeated requests, as we have said, the Pontifical Council
for the Family began reflection on the subject by concentrating
more on "preparation courses", in line with the Apostolic Exhortation
Familiaris Consortio. During its preparation, the present document
went through the following editorial process.
In 1991, the Council dedicated its General Assembly (September 30 October
5) to the theme of preparation for the sacrament of Marriage. The Presidential
Committee of the Pontifical Council for the Family and the married couples
who are part of the Council offered ample material for a first draft. Later,
from July 8-13, 1992, a working group was convened made up of pastors,
consultors and experts who prepared a second draft which was sent to the
Episcopal Conferences for their contributions and additional suggestions.
A great number of responses with useful suggestions came in, and these
were studied and included in a subsequent draft prepared by a working group
in 1995. This Council now presents the guideline document which is offered
as a basis for the pastoral work related to preparation for the sacrament
of Marriage. It will be especially useful for the Episcopal Conferences
in the preparation of their Directories, and also for a greater pastoral
commitment in dioceses, parishes ?and apostolic movements (cf. FC
66).
4. The "Magna Carta" for families, the Apostolic Exhortation
Familiaris Consortio, which has already been cited, had already
pointed out that: "...the changes that have taken place within almost
all modern societies demand that not only the family but also society and
the Church should be involved in the effort of properly preparing young
people for their future responsibilities. (...) The Church must therefore
promote better and more intensive programmes of marriage preparation, in
order to eliminate as far as possible the difficulties that many married
couples find themselves in, and even more in order to favour positively
the establishing and maturing of successful marriages" (FC
66).
The Code of Canon Law states that there should be "personal preparation
for entering marriage, so that the spouses are disposed to the holiness
and the obligations of their new state" (CIC can. 1063, 2,
CCEO can. 783, §1). These instructions are also found in the Ordo
celebrandi matrimonium 12.
In his Address to the Ninth General Assembly of the Pontifical Council
for the Family (October 4, 1991), the Holy Father added: "The greater
the difficulties caused by one's surroundings for knowing the truth of
the Christian sacrament and of the institution of marriage, all the greater
must be our efforts to prepare spouses adequately for their responsibilities".
Then, with some more concrete observations regarding the courses
as such, he went on to say: "You have been able to observe that, given
the necessity of having such courses in parishes, in consideration of the
positive results of the various methods used, it seems appropriate to start
drawing up criteria to be adopted, in the form of a guide or directory,
to offer the particular Churches a valuable aid". This is all the
more so because in the particular Churches, for much of "the people
of life and the people for life', the family has a decisive responsibility.
This responsibility flows from its very nature as a community of life and
love, founded upon marriage, and from its mission to 'guard, reveal and
communicate love'" (EV 92 and cf. FC 17).
5. For this purpose, the Pontifical Council for the Family offers this
document which has as its object the preparation for the sacrament of Marriage
and its celebration.
The guidelines that emerge constitute an itinerary for the remote,
proximate and immediate preparation for the sacrament of Marriage (cf.
FC 66). The material provided herein is addressed first of all to
the Episcopal Conferences, the individual Bishops and their co-workers
in the pastoral care of marriage preparation, and it is also addressed
to the engaged themselves who are the object of the Church's pastoral concern.
6. Particular pastoral attention will be given to the engaged in special
situations foreseen by the CIC can. 1071, 1072 and 1125, and by
the CCEO can. 789 and 814. When the guidelines presented in the
document cannot be applied completely in their regard, they can still be
useful in guiding and accompanying them in a fitting way.
Faithful to the will and teaching of Christ, through her own legislation
the Church expresses her pastoral charity in her care for all the situations
of the faithful. The criteria offered are means for providing help in a
positive way and should not be understood as further, constrictive requirements.
7. The underlying doctrinal motivation that inspires this document comes
from the conviction that marriage is a value that takes its origin from
the Creation and that it is rooted in human nature. "Have you not
read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female,
and said, ?For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and
be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one?'" (Matthew
19: 4-5). Therefore, what the Church does for the family and marriage certainly
contributes to the good of society as such and to the good of all. Furthermore,
as an expression of the new life made possible by the Risen Christ, Christian
marriage always expresses the truth about married love and is like a prophecy
that clearly proclaims a human being's real needs: that man and woman are
called upon from the beginning to live in a communion of life and love
and that this complementarity will lead to strengthening the human dignity
of the spouses, the good of the children and of society itself, through
"...the defence and promotion of life...everyone's task and responsibility"
(EV 91).
8. Therefore, the present document takes into consideration both
the natural human realities proper to this divine institution, and the
specific ones of the sacrament instituted by Christ. It is divided
into three parts:
1) The Importance of Preparation for Christian Marriage;
2) The Stages or Periods of Preparation;
3) The Celebration of Marriage.
I
THE IMPORTANCE OF PREPARATION
FOR CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
9. The starting point for an itinerary of marriage preparation is the
awareness that the marriage covenant was taken up and raised to a sacrament
of the New Covenant by the Lord Jesus Christ, through the power of the
Holy Spirit. The sacrament joins the spouses to the self-giving love of
Christ the Bridegroom for the Church, his Bride (cf. Ephesians 5:
25-32) by making them the image of, and sharers in this love. It makes
them give praise to the Lord, it sanctifies the conjugal union and the
life of the Christian faithful who celebrate it, and gives rise to the
Christian family, the domestic church, the "first and living cell
of society" (Apostolicam Actuositatem, 11), and the "sanctuary
of life" (EV 92 and also 6, 88, 94). Therefore, the sacrament
is celebrated and lived in the heart of the New Covenant, i.e. the paschal
mystery. It is Christ, the Bridegroom in our midst (cf. Gratissimam
Sane, 18; Matthew 9: 15), who is the source of its energies.
Therefore, Christian couples and families are neither isolated nor alone.
For Christians, marriage, which has its origin in God the Creator, also
implies a real vocation to a particular state and a life of grace. In order
to be brought to its maturation, this vocation requires adequate, particular
preparation and a specific path of faith and love, all the more so because
this vocation is given to a couple for the good of the Church and society.
This has all the meaning and strength of a public commitment made before
God and society that goes beyond individual limits.
10. As a community of life and love, both as a natural divine institution
and a sacrament, marriage always possesses a source of formidable energies
(cf. FC 43), no matter what difficulties there may be. Through the
witness of the spouses, marriage can become Good News, contributing greatly
to the new evangelization, and ensuring the future of society. However,
these energies must be discovered, appreciated and enhanced by the spouses
themselves and by the ecclesial community in the period preceding the celebration
of marriage that constitutes its preparation.
Many dioceses around the world are making efforts to find forms for
an increasingly effective marriage preparation. Many positive experiences
have been passed on to the Pontifical Council for the Family. No doubt
these experiences will be consolidated more and more and provide valid
assistance if they are known and appreciated within the Episcopal Conferences
and by each Bishop in the pastoral care of the local Churches.
What is called Preparation in this document includes a broad
and thorough process of education for married life which must be
considered in the totality of its values. This is why if the current psychological
and cultural situation is taken into consideration, marriage preparation
represents an urgent need. In fact, preparation is educating for the respect
and care for life which, in the Sanctuary of families, must become a real
and proper culture of human life in all its manifestations and stages for
those who are part of the people of life and for life (cf.
EV 6, 78, 105). The very reality of marriage is so rich that it
first requires a process of sensitization so that the engaged will feel
the need to prepare themselves for it. Therefore, pastoral care of the
family should direct its best efforts towards qualifying that preparation,
also making use of pedagogical and psychological aids that have a sound
orientation.
In another document published recently (December 8, 1995) by the Pontifical
Council for the Family entitled, The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality:
Guidelines for Education Within the Family, the Council tries to help
families in their task of educating their children with regard to sexuality.
11. Lastly, because of the present circumstances which were mentioned
earlier, the Church's concern has become more urgent with regard to marriage
preparation. On the one hand, the recovery of values and some important
aspects of marriage and the family can be observed together with the flourishing
of joyful testimonies by countless Christian spouses and families. However,
on the other hand, the number of persons is increasing who ignore or reject
the riches of marriage with a form of mistrust that goes so far as to doubt
or reject its goods and values (cf. GS 48). Today we see with alarm
the spread of a "culture" or a mentality that has lost heart
with regard to the family as a necessary value for spouses, children and
society. Some attitudes and some measures envisaged in laws do not help
the family based on marriage and even deny its rights. As a matter of fact,
a secularized atmosphere has been spreading in different parts of the world
which especially affects young people and subjects them to the pressure
of a secularized environment in which one ends up losing the meaning of
God and consequently the deep meaning of spousal love and the family as
well. Is it not denying the truth of God to shut out the very origin and
source of this intimate mystery? (cf. GS 22). The negation of God
in its different forms often includes the rejection of the institutions
and structures which are part of God's plan, and which have been laid down
since Creation (cf. Matthew 19: 3ss). As a result, everything is
interpreted as being the fruit of human will andor consensus that can change.
12. In countries where the process of de-Christianization is more prevalent,
the disturbing crisis of moral values stands out, in particular, the loss
of the identity of marriage and the Christian family and hence the meaning
of engagement. In addition to these losses, there is a crisis of values
within the family itself to which a climate of widespread and even legalized
permissiveness contributes. This is greatly encouraged by the communications
media that present contrary models as if they were real values. What seems
to be a cultural fabric is formed, offered to the new generations as an
alternative to the concept of conjugal life and marriage, its sacramental
value, and its links with the Church.
Phenomena which confirm these situations and reinforce such a culture
are connected with new lifestyles which devalue the human dimensions of
the contracting parties with disastrous consequences for the family. These
include sexual permissiveness, the decrease in marriages or their continuous
postponement, the increase in divorces, the contraceptive mentality, the
spread of deliberate abortion, the spiritual void and deep dissatisfaction
which contribute to the spread of drugs, alcoholism, violence and suicide
among young people and adolescents.
In other areas of the world, situations of underdevelopment including
extreme poverty and misery, as well as the simultaneous presence of cultural
elements against or outside the Christian vision make both the stability
of the family and building up an in-depth education in Christian love difficult
and precarious.
13. Permissive laws contribute toward aggravating the situation with
all their force in forging a mentality that harms families (cf. EV
59) with regard to divorce, abortion and sexual freedom. Many means of
communication1 spread and help strengthen a climate of permissiveness and
form what seems to be a cultural fabric that impedes young people from
their normal growth in the Christian faith, their ties with the Church,
and their discovery of the sacramental value of marriage and the requirements
derived from its celebration. It is true that education for marriage has
always been necessary, but a Christian culture made its formulation and
assimilation easier. Today this is sometimes more arduous and more urgent.
14. For all these reasons, in the Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris
Consortio — which brings together the results of the 1980 Synod on
the Family — His Holiness John Paul II indicates that "More than ever
necessary in our times is preparation of young people for marriage and
family life" (FC 66). He urges the promotion of "better
and more intensive programmes of marriage preparation, in order to eliminate
as far as possible the difficulties that many married couples find themselves
in, and even more in order to favour positively the establishing and maturing
of successful marriages" (Ibid.).
Along the same lines, and in order to respond in an organic way to the
current threats and demands, it seems timely for the Episcopal Conferences
to publish with some urgency "a Directory for the Pastoral Care
of the Family" (Ibid.). In such Directories, the elements
considered necessary for a more incisive pastoral care should be sought
and delineated which aim at recovering the Christian identity of marriage
and the family so that the family itself will succeed in being a community
of persons at the service of human life and the faith, the first and living
cell of society, a believing and evangelizing community, a real "domestic
church, centre of communion and ecclesial service" (Ibid.),
"summoned to proclaim, celebrate and serve the Gospel of life"
(EV 92, and also 28, 78, 79, 105).
15. Given the importance of the theme, and aware of the different initiatives
which have been made in this direction by not a few Episcopal Conferences
and many diocesan Bishops, the Pontifical Council for the Family extends
the invitation to continue in this pastoral service with renewed commitment.
The Episcopal Conferences have prepared useful material that can contribute
to marriage preparation and following up family life. In continuity with
the directives of the Apostolic See, the Pontifical Council offers these
starting points for reflection with exclusive reference to one part
of the above-mentioned Directory: that related to preparation for the
sacrament of Marriage. Hence this part of the directory can be more useful
in delineating and developing those aspects which are necessary for the
proper preparation for marriage and Christian family life.
16. Alive in the tradition of the Church and deepened by the Magisterium,
the Word of God stresses that marriage for Christian spouses implies a
response to God's vocation and the acceptance of the mission to be a sign
of God's love for all the members of the human family, by partaking in
the definitive covenant of Christ with the Church. Therefore, spouses become
cooperators with the Creator and Saviour in the gift of love and life.
Hence Christian marriage preparation can be described as a journey of faith
which does not end with the celebration of marriage but continues throughout
family life. Therefore, our perspective does not close with marriage as
an act, at the moment of its celebration, but is on-going. This is why
preparation is also a "special opportunity for the engaged to rediscover
and deepen the faith received in Baptism and nourished by their Christian
upbringing. In this way they come to recognize and freely accept their
vocation to follow Christ and to serve the Kingdom of God in the married
state" (FC 51).
The Bishops are aware of the urgent and indispensable need to propose
and articulate specific formation programmes in developing a process of
Christian formation that is gradual and continuous (cf. Ordo celebrandi
matrimonium, 15). In fact, it will useful to recall that real preparation
is directed toward a conscious and free celebration of the sacrament of
Marriage. However, this celebration is the source and expression of more
binding and permanent implications.
17. From the experience of many pastors and educators it appears that
the engagement period can be a time of mutual discovery but also of a deepening
of faith. Therefore, it is a period of special supernatural gifts for personal
and interpersonal spirituality. Unfortunately, for many, this period which
is intended for human and Christian maturation, can be disturbed by an
irresponsible use of sexuality which does not help spousal love to mature
and, therefore, some make a kind of apologia for premarital relations.
The successful outcome of the engaged couple's deepening in the faith
is also conditioned by their previous formation. On the other hand, the
way in which this period is lived will certainly have an influence on their
future life as spouses and as a family. From this comes the decisive importance
of the help offered to the engaged by their respective families and the
whole ecclesial community. This also consists in prayer. In this regard,
the blessing of the engaged which is foreseen in the De benedictionibus
(nos. 195-214) is significant, in which the signs of this initial commitment
are mentioned: the ring, the exchange of gifts and other customs (nos.
209-210). In any case, the human depth of the engagement should be recognized
and saved from any commonplace approach.
Therefore, both the riches of marriage and the sacrament of Marriage,
and the decisive importance of the engagement period-which today
is often extended for years (with the various kinds of difficulties that
this implies), are reasons which call for the particular solidity of this
formation.
18. It follows that the diocesan and parochial programming — with pastoral
plans that give priority to the pastoral care of the family which enriches
the whole of ecclesial life — presupposes that the formative task will
find its proper place and development and that, between the dioceses and
in the framework of the Episcopal Conferences, the best experiences can
be evaluated and passed on in an exchange of pastoral experiences. It also
seems important to know what forms of catechesis and education are given
to adolescents regarding the various types of vocation and Christian love,
what programmes are prepared for the engaged, the ways in which married
couples who are more mature in the faith are included in this formation,
as well as the best experiences aimed at creating a spiritual and cultural
environment that is suitable for young people heading for marriage.
19. In the formation process, according to what is also referred to
in the Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio, three stages
or principal periods must be distinguished in marriage preparation: remote,
proximate and immediate.
The particular goals of each stage will be achieved if — in addition
to the fundamental human qualities and the basic truths of the faith —
the engaged will also learn about the principal theological and liturgical
content that marks the different phases of preparation. As a result, in
the effort to adapt their life to those values, the engaged will acquire
the true formation that prepares them for married life.
20. Marriage preparation must be set within the urgent need to evangelize
culture — by permeating it to its roots (cf. Apostolic Exhortation
Evangelii Nuntiandi, 19) — in everything that concerns the institution
of marriage: making the Christian spirit penetrate minds and behaviour,
as well as the laws and structures of the community where Christians live
(cf. Catechism of the Catholic Church, n. 2105). This preparation,
both implicitly and explicitly, constitutes one aspect of evangelization,
so much so that it can deepen the strength of the Holy Father's affirmation:
"The family is the heart of the New Evangelization" (...). The
preparation itself "is a responsibility which first concerns married
couples, called to be givers of life, on the basis of an ever greater awareness
of the meaning of procreation as a unique event which clearly reveals
that human life is a gift received in order then to be given as a gift"
(EV 92).
In addition to religious values, abundant good and values that strengthen
solidarity, respect, justice and forgiveness in personal and collective
relations flow from marriage as the foundation of the family. In turn,
the family, based on marriage, expects from society "a recognition
of its identity and an acceptance of its status as a subject in
society" (Gratissimam Sane, 17), and therefore to become
"the heart of the civilization of love" (Ibid.,
13).
The whole diocese should be involved in this task and offer the proper
support. The ideal would be to create a diocesan Commission for marriage
preparation, including a group for the pastoral care of the family, composed
of married couples with parish experience, movements and experts.
The task of this diocesan Commission would be formation, follow-up and
coordination, in collaboration with centres on various levels involved
in this service. The Commission should in turn be formed by networks of
teams of chosen lay persons who work together in marriage preparation in
a broad sense and not only in the courses. It should have the help of a
coordinator, normally a priest, representing the bishop. If the coordination
is entrusted to a lay person or a couple, a priest's assistance would be
advisable.
All of this should enter into the organizational context of the diocese
with its corresponding structures, such as possible areas headed by an
Episcopal Vicar and vicars forane.
II
THE STAGES OR PERIODS OF PREPARATION
21. The stages or periods which will be discussed are not rigidly defined.
In fact, they cannot be defined either in relation to the age of the participants,
nor in relation to their duration. However, it is useful to be familiar
with them as working itineraries and instruments, especially for the content
to be transmitted. They are broken up into remote, proximate and immediate
preparation.
A. Remote preparation
22. Remote preparation includes infancy, childhood and adolescence and
takes place first of all in the family and also in the school and formation
groups, as a valid assistance to the family. This is the period in which
respect for all authentic human values both in interpersonal and social
relations is transmitted and instilled, with all this implies for the formation
of character, self-control and self-esteem, the proper use of one's inclinations,
and respect for persons of the other sex. Moreover, especially for Christians,
a solid spiritual and catechetical formation is also required (cf. FC
66).
23. In the Letter to Families Gratissimam Sane, John Paul II
mentions two fundamental truths in the task of education: "first,
that man is called to live in truth and love; and second, that everyone
finds fulfillment through the sincere gift of self" (n. 16). Children's
education thus begins before birth in the atmosphere in which the new life
is awaited and welcomed, especially through the mother's loving dialogue
with her child (cf. Ibid., 16). This continues in childhood since
education is "before all else a reciprocal ?offering' on the part
of both parents: together they communicate their own mature humanity
to the newborn child" (Ibid.). "In giving origin to a
new life, parents recognize that the child, ?as the fruit of their mutual
gift of love, is, in turn, a gift for both of them, a gift which flows
from them'" (EV 92).
In its integral sense, which implies the transmission and basic growth
of human and Christian values, Christian education — as the Second Vatican
Council affirms — "not only develops the maturity of the human person
..., but is especially directed towards ensuring that those who have been
baptized, as they are gradually introduced to a knowledge of the mystery
of salvation, become daily more appreciative of the gift of faith which
they have received...They should be trained to live their own lives in
the new self, justified and sanctified through the truth" (Gravissimum
Educationis, 2).
24. In this period, a faithful and courageous education in chastity
and love as self-giving must not be lacking. Chastity is not a mortification
of love but rather a condition for real love. In fact, if the vocation
to married love is a vocation to self-giving in marriage, one must succeed
in possessing oneself in order to be able to truly give oneself.
In this regard the sexual education received from parents in the first
years of childhood and adolescence is important, as has been indicated
in the document of this Pontifical Council for the Family mentioned earlier
in n. 10.
25. In this stage of remote preparation some specific objectives should
be achieved. Without pretending to make a complete list of them, as an
indication it is noted that above all this preparation should attain the
goal whereby every member of the faithful called to marriage will understand
completely that, in the light of God's love, human love takes on a central
role in Christian ethics. In fact, as a vocation and mission, human life
is called to the love that has its source and end in God, "without
excluding the possibility of the total gift of self to God in the vocation
to the priestly or religious life" (FC 66). In this sense,
it should be recalled that even when remote preparation deals more with
doctrinal content of an anthropological nature, it is to be placed in the
perspective of marriage in which human love becomes a sharing, as well
as a sign, of the love between Christ and the Church. Therefore, married
love makes present among mankind the same divine love made visible in the
redemption. The journey or conversion from a rather external and vague
level of faith, typical of many young people, to a discovery of the "Christian
mystery" is both essential and decisive: a faith that involves the
communion of Grace and love with the Risen Christ.
26. Remote preparation will have achieved its main goals if it succeeds
in instilling the essentials for acquiring more and more the parameters
of a right judgment regarding the hierarchy of values needed in choosing
the best that society has to offer, according to St. Paul's advice: "...test
everything; hold fast what is good" (1 Thessalonians 5: 19).
It should not be forgotten that, through the grace of God, love is also
cherished, strengthened and intensified through the necessary values connected
with giving, sacrifice, renunciation and self-denial. In this stage of
formation, pastoral help should already be directed toward making moral
behaviour be supported by faith. The example of parents, which becomes
a real witness for those who will marry in the future, provides
stimulus, support and consistency to this kind of Christian lifestyle.
27. This preparation will not lose sight of the importance of helping
young people acquire a critical ability with regard to their surroundings,
and the Christian courage of those who know how to be in the world without
belonging to it. This is what we read in the Letter to Diognetus,
a venerable and certainly authentic document from the early Christian era:
"Christians are not distinguished from the rest of mankind by either
country, speech, or customs...the whole tenor of their way of living stamps
it as worthy of admiration and admittedly extraordinary... They marry like
all others and beget children; but they do not expose their offspring.
Their table they spread for all, but not their bed. They find themselves
in the flesh, but do not live according to the flesh"
(V, 1, 4, 6, 7, 8). Formation should arrive at a mentality and personality
capable of not being led astray by ideas contrary to the unity and stability
of marriage, thus able to react against the structures of the so-called
social sin that "With greater or lesser violence, with greater
or lesser harm, every sin has repercussions on the entire ecclesial body
and the whole human family" (Apostolic Exhortation Reconciliatio
et Paenitentia, 16). In the face of these sinful influences and so
many social pressures, a critical conscience must be instilled.
28. A Christian lifestyle, witnessed to by Christian families,
is in itself a form of evangelization and the very foundation of remote
preparation. In fact, another goal of this stage is the presentation of
the parents' educational mission. It is in the family, the domestic church,
that Christian parents are the first witnesses and educators of the children
both in the growth of "faith, hope and charity", and in each
child discovering his or her own vocation. "Parents are the
first and most important educators of their own children, and they
also possess a fundamental competence in this area: they are educators
because they are parents" (GS 16). For this purpose parents
need suitable and adequate assistance.
29. Among the types of assistance, the parish can be listed as the first
place of Christian ecclesial formation. It is there that a style of living
together as a community is learned (cf. Sacrosanctum Concilium,
42). Moreover, the school, other educational institutions, movements, groups,
Catholic associations and, of course, associations of Christian families
must not be overlooked.
Of particular importance in the educational processes of young people
are the means of mass communication which ought to aid the family's mission
in society in a positive way and not make it difficult.
30. This educational process must also be taken to heart by catechists,
animators of the pastoral care of youth and vocations and, above all, pastors
who will take advantage of homilies during liturgical celebrations and
other forms of evangelization, personal meetings, and ways of Christian
commitment, in order to stress and highlight the points that contribute
to a preparation directed toward possible marriage (cf. Ordo Celebrandi
Matrimonium, 14).
31. Therefore, the ways and means must be "invented" for the
on-going formation of adolescents in the period preceding engagement which
follows the stages of Christian initiation. Exchanging information about
the most appropriate experiences in this regard is extremely useful. Families
joined together in the parishes, institutions and different forms of association,
help create a social atmosphere in which responsible love will be healthy.
Wherever it may be corrupted, for example, by pornography, they can react
through the family's right. All of this is part of a "human ecology"
(cf. Centesimus Annus, 38).
B. Proximate preparation
32. Proximate preparation takes place during the period of engagement.
It consists of specific courses and must be distinguished from immediate
preparation which is usually concentrated during the last meetings between
the engaged and pastoral workers before the celebration of the sacrament.
During proximate preparation, it seems useful to provide the possibility
to verify the maturation of the human values pertaining to the relationship
of friendship and dialogue that should characterize the engagement. In
view of the new state in life as a couple, the opportunity should be offered
to deepen the life of faith, especially regarding knowledge about the sacramentality
of the Church. This is an important stage of evangelization in which the
faith must involve the personal and community dimensions both of the individual
engaged persons and their families. In this process, it will also be possible
to identify any difficulties they may have in living an authentic Christian
life.
33. The period of proximate preparation generally coincides with the
period of youth. Therefore it includes everything that pertains to the
pastoral care of youth as such which is concerned with the integral growth
of the faithful. The pastoral care of youth cannot be separated from the
framework of the family as if young people make up a kind of separate and
independent "social class". It should reinforce the young people's
social sense, first with regard to the members of their own family, and
orient their values toward the future family they will have. The young
people should have already been helped to discern their vocation through
their own personal efforts and with the aid of the community, and above
all the pastors. This discernment must take place before any commitment
is made to get engaged. When the vocation to marriage is clear, it will
be sustained first by grace and then by adequate preparation. The pastoral
care of youth should also keep in mind that, because of various kinds of
difficulties — such as a "prolonged adolescence" and remaining
longer in one's family (a relatively new and troubling phenomenon), young
people today tend to put off the commitment to get married for too long.
34. Proximate preparation should be based first of all on a catechesis
sustained by listening to the Word of God, interpreted with the guidance
of the Magisterium of the Church, in view of an ever greater understanding
of the faith and giving witness to it in concrete life. Instruction should
be offered in the context of a community of faith between families, especially
in the parish, who participate and work in the formation of young people,
according to their charismas and roles, and expand their influence to other
social groups.
35. The engaged should receive instruction regarding the natural requirements
of the interpersonal relationship between a man and a woman in God's plan
for marriage and the family: awareness regarding freedom of consent as
the foundation of their union, the unity and indissolubility of marriage,
the correct concept of responsible parenthood, the human aspects of conjugal
sexuality, the conjugal act with its requirements and ends, and the proper
education of children. All of this is aimed at knowing the moral truth
and forming the personal conscience.
Proximate preparation should certainly ascertain whether the engaged
have the basic elements of a psychological, pedagogical, legal and medical
nature for marriage and family life. However, especially with regard to
total self-giving and responsible procreation, the theological and moral
formation will have to be given in a particular way. In fact, conjugal
love is total, exclusive, faithful and fruitful (cf. Humanae Vitae,
9).
Today the scientific basis2 of the natural methods for the regulation
of fertility are recognized. Knowledge about these methods is useful. When
there is just cause, their use must not only be a mere behavioral technique
but be inserted into the pedagogy and process of the growth of love (cf.
EV 97). Then the virtue of chastity will lead the spouses to practice
periodic continence (cf. Catechism of the Catholic Church, nos.
2366-2371).
This preparation should also ensure that Christian engaged persons have
correct ideas and a sincere "sentire cum ecclesia" regarding
marriage itself, the mutual roles of a woman and a man in a couple, the
family and society, sexuality and openness towards others.
36. Young people should also be helped to become aware of any psychological
andor emotional shortcomings they may have, especially the inability to
open up to others, and any forms of selfishness that can take away from
the total commitment of their self-giving. This help will also aid in discovering
the potential and the need for human and Christian growth in their life.
For this purpose, the persons in charge of marriage preparation should
also be concerned with giving solid formation to the moral conscience of
the engaged so that they will be prepared for the free and definitive choice
of marriage which is expressed in the mutually exchanged consent before
the Church in the marriage covenant.
37. During this stage of preparation, frequent meetings will be necessary
in an atmosphere of dialogue, friendship and prayer, with the participation
of pastors and catechists. They should stress the fact that "The family
celebrates the Gospel of life through daily prayer, both
individual prayer and family prayer. The family prays in order to glorify
and give thanks to God for the gift of life, and implores his light and
strength in order to face times of difficulty and suffering without losing
hope" (EV 93). Moreover, Christian married couples who are
apostolically committed, in a vision of sound Christian optimism, can contribute
to shedding greater light on Christian life in the context of the vocation
to marriage and in the complementarity of all the vocations. Therefore,
this period should not only be for theoretical study but also for formation
during which the engaged, with the help of grace and by avoiding all forms
of sin, will prepare to give themselves as a couple to Christ who sustains,
purifies and ennobles the engagement and married life. In this way, premarital
chastity takes on its full meaning and rules out any cohabitation, premarital
relations, and other practices, such as mariage coutumier, in the
process of making love grow.
38. In line with the sound pedagogical principles of a gradual and comprehensive
personal growth, proximate preparation must not neglect formation for the
social and ecclesial tasks proper to those who will have new families as
a result of their marriage. Family intimacy should not be conceived as
being closed in on itself, but rather as a capacity to interiorize the
human and Christian riches inherent in married life in view of an ever
greater giving to others. Therefore, in an open concept of the family,
married and family life requires the spouses to recognize themselves as
subjects having rights but also duties towards society and the Church.
In this regard, it will be very useful to encourage reading and reflecting
on the following documents of the Church which are a rich and encouraging
source of human and Christian wisdom: Familiaris Consortio, the
Letter to Families Gratissimam Sane, the Charter of the Rights
of the Family, Evangelium Vitae, and others.
39. The proximate preparation of young people should make them understand
that the commitment they take on through the exchange of their consent
"before the Church" makes it necessary for them to begin a path
of reciprocal fidelity in the engagement period. If necessary, any practices
to the contrary must be abandoned. This human commitment will be enhanced
by the specific gifts which the Holy Spirit gives to the engaged who invoke
him.
40. Since Christian love is purified, perfected and elevated by Christ's
love for the Church (cf. GS 49), the engaged should imitate this
model and develop their awareness of self-giving which is always connected
with the mutual respect and self-denial that help this love grow. Reciprocal
self-giving thus implies more and more the exchange of spiritual gifts
and moral support in order to make love and responsibility increase. "The
indissolubility of marriage flows in the first place from the very essence
of that gift: the gift of one person to another person. This reciprocal
giving of self reveals the spousal nature of love" (Gratissimam
Sane, 11).
41. Spousal spirituality, by involving human experience which is never
separated from moral life, has its roots in Baptism and Confirmation. Preparation
of the engaged should therefore include regaining the dynamism of the sacraments,
with a special role of the sacraments of Reconciliation and the Eucharist.
The sacrament of Reconciliation glorifies divine mercy toward human misery
and makes the vitality of Baptism and the dynamism of Confirmation grow.
From this the pedagogy of redeemed love is strengthened which lets the
greatness of God's mercy be discovered before the drama of man, created
by God and wonderfully redeemed. By celebrating the memory of Christ's
giving to the Church, the Eucharist develops the affective love proper
to marriage in daily giving to one's spouse and children, without forgetting
and overlooking that "the celebration which gives meaning to every
other form of prayer and worship is found in the family's actual daily
life together, if it is a life of love and self-giving" (EV
93).
42. For this kind of multifaceted and harmonious preparation, the persons
who will be in charge will have to be identified and given adequate formation.
It would be useful to create a group, on different levels, of pastoral
workers who are aware of being sent by the Church. This group should be
composed of Christian married couples in particular, and include experts
possibly in medicine, law, psychology, with a priest who will prepare them
for the roles they will play.
43. The pastoral workers and persons in charge must have a solid doctrinal
preparation and unquestionable fidelity to the Magisterium of the Church
so that they will be able to transmit the truths of the faith and the responsibilities
connected with marriage with sufficient in-depth knowledge and life witness.
It is quite obvious that these pastoral workers, as educators, will also
have to be capable of welcoming the engaged, whatever their social and
culture extraction, intellectual formation and concrete capacities may
be. Moreover, their faithful life witness and joyful giving are indispensable
conditions for carrying out their task. Based on their own experiences
in life and human problems, they can offer some starting points for enlightening
the engaged with Christian wisdom.
44. The above implies the need for an adequate formation programme for
the pastoral workers. The formation leaders' preparation should prepare
them to present the fundamental guidelines of marriage preparation which
we have spoken about with clear adherence to the Church's Magisterium,
a suitable methodology and pastoral sensitivity, and also enable them to
offer their specific contribution, according to their own expertise, to
the immediate preparation (nos. 50-59). The pastoral workers ought to receive
their formation in special Pastoral Institutes and be carefully chosen
by the Bishop.
45. The final result of this period of proximate preparation should
be a clear awareness of the essential characteristics of Christian marriage:
unity, fidelity, indissolubility, fruitfulness; the conscience of faith
regarding the priority of the sacramental Grace which associates the spouses,
as subjects and ministers of the sacrament, to the love of Christ, the
Bridegroom of the Church; the willingness to carry out the mission proper
to families in the educational, social and ecclesial areas.
46. As Familiaris Consortio notes, the formative journey of young
engaged persons should therefore include: deepening of personal faith and
the rediscovery of the value of the sacraments and the experience of prayer.
Specific preparation for life as a couple "will present marriage as
an interpersonal relationship of a man and a woman that has to be continually
developed, and it will encourage those concerned to study the nature of
conjugal sexuality and responsible parenthood, with the essential medical
and biological knowledge connected with it. It will also acquaint those
concerned with correct methods for the education of children, and will
assist them in gaining the basic requisites for well-ordered family life"
(FC 66); "preparation for the family apostolate, for fraternal
solidarity and collaboration with other families, for active membership
in groups, associations, movements and undertakings set up for the human
and Christian benefit of the family" (Ibid.).
Moreover, the engaged should be helped beforehand to learn how to preserve
and cultivate married love later, interpersonal, marital communication,
the virtues and difficulties of conjugal life, and how to overcome the
inevitable conjugal "crises".
47. However, the center of this preparation must be a reflection in
the faith on the sacrament of Marriage through the Word of God and the
guidance of the Magisterium. The engaged should be made aware that to become
"una caro" (Matthew 19:6) in Christ, through the Spirit
in Christian marriage, means imprinting a new form of baptismal life on
their existence. Through the sacrament, their love will become a concrete
expression of Christ's love for his Church (cf. LG 11). In the light
of the sacramentality, the married acts themselves, responsible procreation,
educational activity, the communion of life, and the apostolic and missionary
spirit connected with the life of Christian spouses are to be considered
valid moments of Christian experience. Although still not in a sacramental
way, Christ sustains and accompanies the journey of grace and growth of
the engaged toward the participation in his mystery of union with the Church.
48. With regard to a possible Directory that will bring together the
best experiences with marriage preparation, it seems useful to recall what
the Holy Father John Paul II stated in his concluding Discourse to the
General Assembly of the Pontifical Council for the Family held from September
30-October 5, 1991: "It is essential that the time and care necessary
should be devoted to doctrinal preparation. The security of the
content must be the centre and essential goal of the courses in a perspective
which makes spouses more aware of the celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage
and everything that flows from it regarding the responsibility of the family.
Questions concerning the unity and indissolubility of marriage, and all
that regards the meaning of the union and of procreation in married life
and its specific act, must be treated faithfully and accurately, according
to the clear teaching of the Encyclical Humanae Vitae (cf. nn. 11-12).
This is equally true for everything that pertains to the gift of life which
parents must accept responsibly and joyfully as the Lord's collaborators.
The courses should not only emphasize what concerns the mature and vigilant
freedom of those who want to contract marriage, but also their own mission
as parents, the first educators of their children and their first evangelizers".
With deep satisfaction, this Pontifical Council observes that the tendency
is growing towards greater commitment and awareness of the importance and
dignity of the engagement period. Similarly, it urges that the specific
courses will not be so brief as to reduce them to a mere formality. On
the contrary, they should provide sufficient time for a good, clear presentation
of the fundamental subjects indicated earlier.3
The course can be carried out in the individual parishes, if there are
enough engaged persons and well-prepared collaborators, in the Episcopal
or forane Vicariats, or in parish coordinating structures. Sometimes they
can be given by persons in charge of family movements, associations or
apostolic groups guided by a competent priest. This is an area which should
be coordinated by a diocesan organism that works on behalf of the
Bishop. Without neglecting the various aspects of psychology, medicine
and other human sciences, the content should be centred on the natural
and Christian doctrine of marriage.
49. In proximate preparation, especially today, the engaged must be
given formation and strengthened in the values concerning the defense of
human life. Particularly in view of the fact that they will become the
domestic church and "Sanctuary of life" (EV 92-92), they
will become part in a new way of the "people of life and for life"
(EV 6, 101). The contraceptive mentality which is prevalent today
in so many places, and the widespread, permissive laws with all they imply
in terms of contempt for life from the moment of conception to death, constitute
a series of multiple attacks to which the family is exposed and wounded
in the most intimate part of its mission, and which impede its development
according to the requirements of authentic human growth (cf. Centesimus
Annus, 39). Therefore, today more than before, formation is needed
of the minds and hearts of the members of new families not to conform to
the prevailing mentality. In this way, through their own new family life,
one day they will be able to contribute towards creating and developing
the culture of life by respecting and welcoming new lives in their love,
as the testimony and expression of the proclamation, celebration and service
to every life (cf. EV 83-84, 86, 93).
C. Immediate preparation
50. If a suitable itinerary and specific courses have been followed
and have worked well during the period of proximate formation (cf. n. 32ss.),
the aims of immediate preparation could consist of the following:
a) A synthesis of the previous preparation, especially its doctrinal,
moral and spiritual content, thus filling in eventual gaps in basic formation;
b) Experiences of prayer (retreats, spiritual exercises for the
engaged) in which the encounter with the Lord can make them discover the
depth and beauty of the supernatural life;
c) A suitable liturgical preparation which also envisages the
active participation of the engaged, with special attention to the Sacrament
of Reconciliation;
d) Good use the canonical talks that are envisaged with the parish
priest, so that everyone can get to know one another better.
These ends will be achieved through special meetings of a more intensive
nature.
51. The pastoral usefulness and positive experience of marriage preparation
courses show that they can be dispensed with only for proportionally
serious reasons. Therefore, if couples present themselves with the
urgency of celebrating their marriage soon and without proximate preparation,
the parish priest and his co-workers will have the responsibility of offering
them some occasions to make up an adequate knowledge of the doctrinal,
moral and sacramental aspects set out in the proximate preparation for
marriage and finally include them in the phase of immediate preparation.
This is required because of the necessity to personalize the formative
itineraries in a real way, to take every occasion to deepen the meaning
of what takes place in the sacrament, but without rejecting those who show
they are well disposed towards the faith and the sacrament just because
they were absent from some stages of preparation.
52. The immediate preparation for the sacrament of Marriage must find
suitable occasions to introduce the engaged couple to the rite of marriage.
As well as deepening the Christian doctrine on marriage and the family
with particular attention to moral duties, in this preparation the engaged
should be guided to take an informed and active part in the marriage celebration,
and understand the meaning of the liturgical actions and texts.
53. This preparation for the sacrament of Marriage should be the culmination
of a catechesis which helps engaged Christians to retrace their sacramental
journey intelligently. It is important that they know that they are uniting
themselves in marriage as persons baptized in Christ, and that they should
behave in conformity to the Holy Spirit in their family life. Thus it is
right that future spouses dispose themselves for the celebration of marriage
so that it may be valid, worthy and fruitful, by receiving the sacrament
of Penance (cf. Catechism of the Catholic Church, n. 1622). The
liturgical preparation for the sacrament of Marriage should make the most
of the elements of ritual that are currently available. To indicate a clearer
relationship between the nuptial sacrament and the paschal mystery, the
celebration of marriage is normally set within the celebration of the Eucharist.
54. In order to make the Church visible in the diocese and articulate
this in the parishes, it is understandable that all the canonical-pastoral
preparation for marriage should culminate in the parish and diocese. Thus
it is more in conformity with the ecclesial meaning of the sacrament for
the marriage to be celebrated normally in the church of the parish community
to which the spouses belong (CIC, Canon 1115).
It is desirable that the whole parish community take part in this celebration,
around the families and friends of the engaged. Provisions for this should
be made in various dioceses, taking local situations into account, but
also decisively favouring truly ecclesial pastoral action.
55. Those who will take an active part in the liturgy should be invited
also to prepare themselves properly for the sacrament of Reconciliation
and the Eucharist. It should be explained to the witnesses that they are
not only the guarantors of a juridical act, but also representatives of
the Christian community which, through them, participates in a sacramental
act relevant to it, because a new family is a cell of the Church. On account
of its essentially social character, marriage calls for the participation
of society and this is to be expressed through the presence of the witnesses.
56. The family is the most appropriate place where, according to the
decision of the local Ordinary and through the common priesthood, parents
can carry out sacred acts and administer some sacramentals, such as for
example in the context of Christian Initiation, in the joyful or sad events
of daily life, in saying grace at meals. A special place should be given
to family prayer. This creates an atmosphere of faith within the home and
will be the means of living out a richer fatherhood and motherhood for
the children, teaching them to pray and introducing them to the gradual
discovery of the mystery of God and personal dialogue with him. Parents
should remember that they carry out their mission of proclaiming the Gospel
of life through educating their children (cf. Evangelium Vitae,
92).
57. Immediate preparation is a propitious occasion to begin the on-going
pastoral care of marriage and the family. From this point of view, the
preparation needs to be carried out so that spouses know their mission
in the Church. Here they can be helped by the richness offered by specific
family movements, so as to cultivate a spirituality of marriage and the
family and the way they fulfil their tasks within the family, the Church
and society.
58. The preparation of the engaged should be accompanied by sincere
and deep devotion to Mary, Mother of the Church, the Queen of the Family.
The engaged themselves should be taught to recognize that Mary's presence
is as active in the family, the Domestic Church, as it is in the wider
Church. Likewise they should be taught to imitate Mary in her virtues.
Thus the Holy Family, the home of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, makes the engaged
discover "how sweet and irreplaceable education in the family is"
(Paul VI, Discourse at Nazareth, January 5, 1964).
59. A gift and enrichment for the whole Church will be sharing with
others whatever is creatively proposed in various communities to make these
proximate and immediate phases of preparation deeper and more adequate.
III
THE CELEBRATION OF MARRIAGE
60. Preparation for marriage leads to married life, through the celebration
of the sacrament, which is the culmination of the journey of preparation
which the spouses have made and the source and origin of their married
life. Therefore, the celebration cannot be reduced only to a ceremony,
the product of culture and sociological conditioning. Nevertheless, praiseworthy
customs that belong to various peoples or ethnic groups can be brought
into the celebration (cf. Sacrosanctum Concilium, 77; Familiaris
Consortio, 67), provided that they express above all the coming together
of the ecclesial assembly as a sign of the faith of the Church, which recognizes
in the sacrament the presence of the Risen Lord uniting the spouses to
the Love of the Trinity.
61. Through diocesan liturgical commissions, the bishops should give
precise directions and supervise how these are applied in practice, in
order to put into effect, in the celebration of marriage, what is indicated
in article 32 of the Constitution on the Liturgy, so that even externally
the equality of the faithful may be evident and, further, that any appearance
of pomp be avoided. The active participation of those present is to be
favoured in every way. Suitable materials should be provided to help them
comprehend and savour the richness of the rite.
62. Mindful that where two or three are gathered in the name of Christ
(cf. Matthew 18:20), there he is present, a restrained style of
celebration (which should also continue in the feasting that follows) must
not only be an expression of the community of faith, but a motive for praising
the Lord. To celebrate getting married in the Lord and before the Church
means professing that the gift of grace made to the spouses by the presence
and love of Christ and His Spirit calls for a practical response, with
a life of worship in spirit and truth, in the Christian family, the "domestic
church". Precisely because the celebration is to be understood not
only as a legal act but also as a moment in the history of salvation of
those being married, and through their common priesthood, for the good
of the Church and society, it will be good to help all present to take
part actively in the celebration itself.
63. It will be the duty of whoever presides to make use of the possibilities
which the ritual itself offers, especially in its second typical edition
promulgated in 1991 by the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline
of the Sacraments, so as to highlight the role of the ministers of the
sacrament who, for Christians of the Latin Rite, are the spouses themselves,
as well as the sacramental value of the community celebration. With the
formula of the exchange of consent, the spouses will always remember the
personal, ecclesial and social aspect gained from this consent for all
their life, as a gift of one to the other even unto death.4
The Eastern Rite reserves the role of the minister of marriage to the
assisting priest. In any case, according to the law of the Church, the
presence of a priest or a duly authorized minister is necessary for the
validity of the matrimonial union and clearly sets forth the public and
social meaning of the spousal covenant, both for the Church and for all
of society.
64. Bearing in mind that marriage is normally celebrated during Mass
(cf. Sacrosanctum Concilium, 78; Familiaris Consortio, 57),
when dealing with a marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic,
the celebration will take place according to the special liturgical and
canonical provisions (cf. Ordo Celebrandi Matrimonium - OCM,
79-117).
65. The celebration will lead to more active participation if apposite
introductions to the meaning of the liturgical texts and the content of
the prayers are used. The simplicity of these introductions should favour
recollection and understanding the importance of the celebration (cf. OCM,
52, 59, 87, 93, 99), and avoid turning the celebration into a didactic
moment.
66. The celebrant who presides5 and presents the ecclesial meaning of
the marriage commitment for the assembly, will try to involve those who
are being married, together with their relatives and the witnesses, so
that they can comprehend the structure of the rite. This applies especially
to the most characteristic parts, such as: the Word of God, the consent
exchanged and ratified, the blessing of the signs that symbolize marriage
(rings etc.), the solemn blessing of the spouses, the reference to the
spouses in the heart of the Eucharistic Prayer. "The various liturgies
abound in prayers of blessing and epiclesis asking God's grace and blessing
on the new couple, especially the bride." (Catechism of the Catholic
Church, n. 1624). It will also be necessary to explain the gesture
of imposing hands on the "subject ministers" of the sacrament.
Standing, the sign of peace or other rites determined by the competent
authorities, etc. will be appropriately brought to the attention of all
present.
67. To achieve a style of celebration at once restrained and noble,
whoever presides should be helped by the presence of assistant ministers,
of people who will animate and sustain the singing of the faithful, lead
the responses and proclaim the Word of God. With particular concrete attention
to those who are being married and their situation, and absolutely avoiding
any preference for persons, the celebrant should adapt himself to the truth
of the signs used in the liturgical action. Thus, in welcoming and greeting
those about to be married, their parents if present, the witnesses and
others who attend, he will be the living spokesman of the community that
welcomes those who are being married.
68. The proclamation of the Word of God is to be made by suitable and
prepared lectors. They can be chosen from among those present, especially
witnesses, family members, friends, but it does not seem appropriate for
the bride and groom to be lectors. In fact, they are the primary receivers
of the proclaimed Word of God. However, the choice of readings can be made
in accord with the engaged couple during the phase of immediate preparation.
In this way they will more easily bear the Word of God in mind so as to
put it into practice.
69. The homily, which is obligatory, will have as its centre the presentation
of the "great mystery" being celebrated before God, the Church
and society. "Saint Paul uses a concise phrase in reference to family
life: it is a great mystery (Ephesians 5: 32)". (Gratissimam
Sane, 19). Beginning with the proclaimed texts of the Word of God andor
the liturgical prayers, light should focus on the sacrament, hence the
consequences for the life of the spouses and their families should be illustrated.
Superfluous personal references to the spouses should be avoided.
70. If the rite takes place during the celebration of Mass, the gifts
may be brought to the altar by the spouses themselves. In any case, the
well-prepared prayer of the faithful should be neither too long nor lacking
in concrete content. As may be pastorally appropriate, Holy Communion can
be given under both Species.
71. Care should be taken that the details of the marriage celebration
are characterized by a restrained, simple and authentic style. The festive
tone should not be disturbed by excessive display.
72. The solemn blessing of the spouses recalls that the gift of the
Holy Spirit is invoked in the sacrament of Marriage. Through this gift,
the married couple are made more constant in their mutual concord and spiritually
sustained in carrying out their mission, also in the difficulties of their
future life. In the framework of this celebration, it will certainly be
appropriate to present the Holy Family of Nazareth as a model of life for
Christian spouses.
73. With regard to the periods of remote, proximate and immediate preparation,
while it is good to bring together actual experiences in order to effect
a major change of mentality and practices associated with the celebration,
pastoral workers should take care to follow and make comprehensible what
is already set down and established by the liturgical rite. It is obvious
that such understanding will depend on the whole process of preparation
and the community's level of Christian maturity.
* * *
Anyone can take note that herein some elements are proposed for an organic
preparation of the faithful called to the sacrament of Marriage. Especially
in the first five years of married life, it would be desirable to follow
up the young couples through post-marriage courses, to be carried out in
parishes or deaneries, according to the norm of the Directory for the Pastoral
Care of the Family, mentioned earlier in nos. 14 and 15, in connection
with the Apostolic Exhortation, Familiaris Consortio, 66.
The Pontifical Council for the Family entrusts to the Episcopal Conferences
these guidelines for their own directories.
The pastoral concern of the Episcopal Conferences and individual Bishops
will ensure that these guidelines are put into action in the ecclesial
communities. Thus each of the faithful will understand better that the
sacrament of Marriage, a great mystery (Ephesians 5: 21ss)
is a vocation for so many in the People of God.
Vatican City State, May 13, 1996
Alfonso Cardinal López Trujillo
President of the Pontifical Council
for the Family
+ Most. Rev. Francisco Gil Hellín
Secretary
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