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SYNOD OF BISHOPS
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XIV ORDINARY GENERAL ASSEMBLY
THE VOCATION AND MISSION
OF THE FAMILY
IN THE CHURCH AND
THE CONTEMPORARY WORLD
INSTRUMENTUM LABORIS
VATICAN CITY
2015
Table of Contents
Abbreviations
Presentation
Introduction
Part I
Considering the challenges of the family
Chapter I
The Family and the Anthropological-Cultural Context
The Socio-Cultural Context
Anthropological Changes
Cultural Contradictions
Social Contradictions
The Weakness and Strength of the Family
Chapter II
The Family and the Socio-Economic Context
The Family: An Irreplaceable Resource of Society
Public Policies on Behalf of the Family
The Economic Challenge
The Challenge of Poverty and Social Exclusion
The Ecological Challenge
Chapter III
The Family and Inclusion
The Elderly
The Challenge of Widowhood
The Final Stage of Life and Mourning in the Family
The Challenge of Disability
The Challenge of Migration
Other Special Challenges
The Family and Children
The Role of Women
Chapter IV
The Family, Affectivity and Life
The Importance of Affectivity in Life
The Formation of Affectivity
Affective Fragility and Immaturity
The Bio-ethical Challenge
The Pastoral Challenge
Part II
The Discernment of the Family Vocation
Chapter I
The Family and Divine Pedagogy
Looking at Jesus and the Divine Pedagogy in the History of Salvation
The Word of God in the Family
The Divine Pedagogy
Natural Marriage and the Fullness of the Sacrament
Jesus and the Family
Indissolubility: Gift and Task
Living as a Family
The Family in God’s Salvific Plan
Conjugal Union and Fruitfulness
The Family: Image of the Trinity
Chapter II
The Family and Church Life
The Family in the Church’s Documents
The Family: The Way of the Church
The Divine Measure of Love
The Family at Prayer
The Family and Faith
Catechesis and the Family
The Indissolubility of Marriage and the Joy of Sharing Life Together
Chapter III
The Family and The Path Leading to its Fullness
The Mystery of Matrimony in relation to the Creator
The Truth and Beauty of the Family and Mercy towards Broken and Fragile Families
The Intimate Bond between the Church and the Family
The Family: A Gift and Task
Assistance in Reaching the Fullness of God’s Plan
The Young and the Fear of Marrying
Mercy and Revealed Truth
Part III
The Mission of the Family Today
Chapter I
The Family and Evangelization
Proclaiming the Gospel of the Family Today in Various Contexts
Tenderness in the Family — God’s Tenderness
The Family: Agent of Pastoral Activity
The Wedding Liturgy
The Family: God’s Work
Missionary Conversion and a Renewal in Language
Using Culture as a Means
The Word of God: Source of the Spiritual Life of the Family
A Symphony of Differences
Chapter II
The Family and Formation
Marriage Preparation
The Formation of Future Priests
The Formation of the Clergy and Pastoral Workers
The Family and Public Institutions
The Socio-Political Commitment on Behalf of the Family
Indigence and the Danger of Usury
Accompanying Engaged Couples in their Preparation for Marriage
Accompanying Married Couples in the Initial Years of Marriage
Chapter III
The Family and Accompaniment by the Church
Pastoral Care for Couples Civilly Married or Living Together
The Path Leading towards the Sacrament of Marriage
Caring for Wounded Families (Persons who are Separated, Divorced and Not Remarried, Divorced and Remarried and Single-Parent Families)
Forgiveness in the Family
"The Great River of Mercy"
The Art of Accompaniment
Persons who are Separated and Divorced but Remain Faithful to their Marriage Vows
God Never Abandons Anyone
Streamlining the Annulment Procedure and the Importance of Faith in Cases of Nullity
The Preparation of Workers and an Increase in the Number of Tribunals
Pastoral Approaches in Common
The Integration of Divorced and Civilly Remarried Persons in the Christian
Community
A Way of Penance
Spiritual Participation in Church Communion
Mixed Marriages and Marriages of Disparity of Cult
The Special Nature of the Orthodox Tradition
Pastoral Attention towards Persons with Homosexual Tendencies
Chapter IV
The Family, Procreation and Upbringing
The Transmission of Life and the Challenges of a Declining Birthrate
Responsible Parenthood
Adoption and Foster Parenting
Human Life: An Intangible Mystery
The Challenge of Upbringing and the Role of the Family in Evangelization
Conclusion
Prayer to the Holy Family
Abbreviations
| AA |
|
Second Vatican Ecumenical Council,
Decree
Apostolicam Actuositatem (18 November 1965) |
| AG |
|
Second Vatican Ecumenical Council,
Decree
Ad Gentes (7 December 1965) |
| CCC |
|
Catechism of the Catholic Church, (15 August 1997) |
| CV |
|
Benedict XVI, Encyclical Letter
Caritas in Veritate (29 June 2009) |
| DC |
|
Pontifical Council for Legislative
Texts, Instruction
Dignitas Connubii (25 January 2005) |
| DCE |
|
Benedict XVI, Encyclical Letter
Deus Caritas Est (25 December 2005) |
| DeV |
|
St. John Paul II, Encyclical
Letter
Dominum et Vivificantem (18 May 1986) |
| GS |
|
Second Vatican Ecumenical Council,
Pastoral Constitution
Gaudium et Spes (7 December
1965) |
| EdE |
|
St. John Paul II, Encyclical
Letter
Ecclesia de Eucharistia (17 April 2003) |
| EG |
|
Francis, Apostolic Exhortation
Evangelii Gaudium (24 November 2013) |
| EN |
|
Blessed Paul VI, Apostolic
Exhortation
Evangelii Nuntiandi (8 December 1975) |
| FC |
|
Saint John Paul II, Apostolic
Exhortation
Familiaris Consortio (22 November 1981) |
| IL |
|
III Extraordinary General Assembly
of the Synod of Bishops, The Pastoral Challenges of the
Family in the Context of Evangelization,
Instrumentum
Laboris, (24 June 2014) |
| LF |
|
Francis, Encyclical Letter
Lumen Fidei (29 June 2013) |
| LG |
|
Second Vatican Ecumenical Council,
Dogmatic Constitution
Lumen Gentium (21 November
1964) |
| MV |
|
Francis, Bull
Misericordiae
Vultus (11 April 2015) |
| NA |
|
Second Vatican Ecumenical Council,
Decree
Nostra Aetate (28 October 1965) |
| NMI |
|
Saint John Paul II, Apostolic
Letter Apostolica
Novo Millennio Ineunte (6 January
2001) |
| RM |
|
Saint John Paul II, Encyclical
Letter
Redemptoris Missio (7 December 1990) |
Presentation
The period between synods is drawing to a close. During this time the Holy
Father, Pope Francis entrusted to the whole Church the task "to mature, with
true spiritual discernment, the ideas [proposed by the assembly] and to find
concrete solutions to the many difficulties and innumerable challenges that
families must confront" (Discourse at the Conclusion of the III
Extraordinary General Assembly of the Synod of Bishops, 18 October 2014).
After reflecting on The Pastoral Challenges of the Family in the
Context of Evangelization during the III Extraordinary General Assembly of
the Synod of Bishops in October 2014, the XIV Ordinary General Assembly,
scheduled to take place from 4 to 25 October 2015, will treat the topic: The
Vocation and Mission of the Family in the Church and the Contemporary World.
This long synodal journey is characterized by three moments which are closely
connected, namely: considering the challenges of the family; discerning
the family’s vocation; and reflecting on the family’s mission.
A series of question was integrated into the Relatio Synodi, the fruit
of the last Assembly, so as to learn how the Relatio Synodi was received
and to solicit a thorough examination of its contents. The resulting document
served as the Lineamenta which was sent to the Synods of the Eastern
Catholic Churches sui iuris, the episcopal conferences, the dicasteries
of the Roman Curia and the Union of Superiors General.
The entire People of God was involved in the process of reflection and study.
This also occurred as a result of the Holy Father’s weekly catechesis on the
family during his general audiences, as well as on other occasions, when he
provided guidance in this shared synodal journey. The renewed interest in the
family, brought about by the Synod, is illustrated in the attention the family
has received in not only Church circles but also civil society.
The material in the Responses received from the above-listed entities,
was further augmented by so-called Observations, which were submitted by
many of the Faithful (individuals, families and groups). Various members of the
particular churches, organizations, lay groups and other Church entities made
important recommendations. Universities, academic institutions, research centers
and individual scholars have — and presently continue — to enrich the thorough
examination of the topics of the Synod with their Contributions, through
symposia, conferences and publications, thus shedding light on new aspects, as
"requested beforehand" in the Lineamenta.
The Instrumentum Laboris is comprised of the definitive text of
the Relatio Synodi to which a summary of the Responses, Observations
and scholarly Contributions have been incorporated. For
readability, the numeration reflects both the text of the Relatio and the
document’s existing format. The original paragraphs and headings in the Relatio
appear in italic print and are indicated by the corresponding number
in parenthesis.
The document is divided into three parts, which illustrate the continuity
between the two Assemblies, namely, Considering the Challenges of the Family
(Part I) which draws more directly from the initial phase of the Synod; The Discernment of the Vocation of the Family
(Part II) and
The Mission
of the Family Today (Part III) which both introduce the topic of the second
phase with the intention of offering to the Church and the contemporary world
pastoral incentives to spur renewed efforts in evangelization.
Lorenzo Card. Baldisseri
General Secretary
Vatican City, 23 June 2015
Introduction
1. (1) The Synod of Bishops, gathered around the Holy Father, turned
its thoughts to all the families of the world, each with its joys, difficulties
and hopes. In a special way, the Assembly felt a duty to give thanks to the Lord
for the generosity and faithfulness of so many Christian families in responding
to their vocation and mission, which they fulfill with joy and faith, even when
living as a family requires facing obstacles, misunderstandings and suffering.
The entire Church and this Synod express to these families our appreciation,
gratitude and encouragement. During the prayer vigil held in St Peter’s Square
on 4 October 2014 in preparation for the Synod on the family, Pope Francis
evoked, in a simple yet concrete way, the centrality [of the experience] of the
family in everyone’s lives: "Evening falls on our assembly. It is the hour at
which one willingly returns home to meet at the same table, in the depth of
affection, of the good that has been done and received, of the encounters which
warm the heart and make it grow, good wine which anticipates the unending feast
in the days of man. It is also the weightiest hour for one who finds himself
face to face with his own loneliness, in the bitter twilight of shattered dreams
and broken plans; how many people trudge through the day in the blind alley of
resignation, of abandonment, even resentment: in how many homes the wine of joy
has been less plentiful, and therefore, also the zest — the very wisdom — for
life […]. Let us make our prayer heard for one another this evening, a prayer
for all."
2. (2) Within the family are joys and trials, deep love and
relationships which, at times, can be wounded. The family is truly the "school
of humanity" (GS, 52), which is much needed today. Despite the many signs
of crisis in the family institution in various areas of the "global village",
the desire to marry and form a family remains vibrant, especially among young
people, and serves as the basis of the need of the Church, an expert in humanity
and faithful to her mission to proclaim untiringly and with profound conviction
the "Gospel of the Family", entrusted to her together with the revelation of
God’s love in Jesus Christ and ceaselessly taught by the Fathers, the masters of
spirituality and the Church’s Magisterium. The family is uniquely important to
the Church and in these times, when all believers are invited to think of others
rather than themselves, the family needs to be rediscovered as the essential
agent in the work of evangelization. Think of the witness of so many families
that fulfill their Christian mission.
3. (3) At the Extraordinary General Assembly of October, 2014, the
Bishop of Rome called upon the Synod of Bishops to reflect upon the critical and
invaluable reality of the family, a reflection which will then be pursued in
greater depth at its Ordinary General Assembly scheduled to take place in
October, 2015, as well as during the full year between the two synodal events.
"The convenire in unum around the Bishop of Rome is already an event of grace,
in which episcopal collegiality is made manifest in a path of spiritual and
pastoral discernment." These were the words used by Pope Francis in describing
the synodal experience and indicating the task at hand: to read both the signs
of God and human history, in a twofold yet unique faithfulness which this
reading involves.
4. (4) With these words in mind, we have gathered together the results
of our reflections and our discussions in the following three parts:
listening, so as to look at the reality of the family today in all its
complexities, both lights and shadows; looking, our gaze is fixed on
Christ to ponder, with renewed freshness and enthusiasm, what revelation,
transmitted in the Church’s faith, tells us about the beauty, the role and the
dignity of the family; and confronting the situation, with an eye on the
Lord Jesus, to discern the ways in which the Church and society can renew their
commitment to the family founded upon the marriage between a man and a woman.
5. While preserving the precious fruit of the previous Assembly, the next step
is to take the challenges of the family and consider them in light of the
vocation and mission of the family in the Church and the contemporary world. The
family, in addition to being called upon to respond to today's challenges, is,
above all, called by God to an ever-increasing awareness of its missionary
identity as a domestic Church, even to the point of "going outside itself". In a
world often marked by loneliness and sadness, the "Gospel of the Family" is
indeed good news.
PART I
Considering the challenges of the family
Chapter I
The Family and the Anthropological-Cultural Context
The Socio-Cultural Context
6. (5) Faithful to Christ’s teaching, we look to the reality of the
family today in all its complexity, with both its lights and shadows. We turn
our thoughts to parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters, close and distant
relatives and the bonds between two families forged by marriage. Anthropological
and cultural changes in our times influence all aspects of life and require an
analytic and diversified approach. The positive aspects are first to be
highlighted, namely, a greater freedom of expression and a better recognition of
the rights of women and children, at least in some parts of the world. On the
other hand, equal consideration needs to be given to the growing danger
represented by a troubling individualism which deforms family bonds and ends up
considering each component of the family as an isolated unit, leading, in some
cases, to the idea that a person is formed according to his own desires, which
are considered absolute. Added to this is the crisis of faith, witnessed among a
great many Catholics, which oftentimes underlies the crisis in marriage and the
family.
Anthropological Changes
7. Today's society is characterized by a variety of tendencies. Only a minority
of people lives, supports and encourages the Catholic Church’s teaching on
marriage and the family, seeing in it the goodness of God's creative plan.
Marriages, whether religious or not, are decreasing in number, while separation
and divorce is on the rise. People are becoming increasingly aware of the
dignity of every person — man, woman and child — and the importance of different
ethnic groups and minorities, which — already widespread in many societies, not
only in the West — are becoming prevalent in many countries.
In various cultures young people are displaying a fear to make definitive
commitments, including a commitment concerning a family. In general, an extreme
individualism, increasingly becoming widespread, focuses uppermost on gratifying
desires which do not lead to total personal fulfilment.
The development of a consumer society has separated sexuality from
procreation. This fact is also one of the underlying causes of an increasing
decline in the birth rate, which, in some places, is related to poverty or the
inability to care for children; and in others, to the unwillingness to accept
responsibility and to the idea that children might infringe on freely pursuing
personal goals.
Cultural Contradictions
8. Many cultural contradictions have their effect on the family. The family
continues to be seen as a safe haven for the most intimate and rewarding of
loving relationships, but the tensions resulting from an extreme individualistic
culture, centred on amassing possessions and enjoyment, generate within the
family intolerance and aggression which is sometimes out of control. A certain
kind of feminism can also be mentioned, a feminism which considers motherhood a
pretext to exploit women and hinder her full realization. At the same time,
there is a growing tendency to consider having a child a way of fulfilling one’s
personal desires, something to be achieved by any means available. Finally,
there are theories according to which personal identity and emotional intimacy
ought to be radically detached from the biological difference between male and
female.
At the same time, however, some want to recognize the stable character of a
couple’s relationship apart from sexual difference, and place it on the same
level as the marital relationship, which is intrinsically connected to the roles
of a father and a mother and determined on the biological basis of
child-bearing. The resulting confusion is of no assistance in defining the
specific character of such unions in society. Rather, it relegates the special
bond between biological difference, reproduction and human identity to an
individualistic choice. What is certainly needed is a more thorough examination
of human nature and culture which is based not simply on biology and sexual
difference, fully aware that "the removal of difference [...] creates a problem,
not a solution (Francis, General Audience, April 15, 2015).
Social Contradictions
9. Traumatic events, such as wars, the exhausting of resources and migration,
are increasingly having an impact on the emotional and spiritual calibre of
family life and are endangering relationships within the family. Oftentimes, the
family’s material and spiritual resources are brought to the point of depletion.
In general, serious contradictions result from the burden of reckless
economic policies and insensitive social policies, even in so-called affluent
societies. In particular, the increased cost of raising children and the great
deterioration in the additional tasks of social care for the sick and elderly,
precisely delegated to families, is a real burden which greatly affects family
life.
In addition, the effects of adverse economic development, unclear in nature,
the growing phenomenon of the accumulation of wealth in the hands of a few and
the diversion of resources which should be devoted to programmes on behalf of
the family is further impoverishing the family and leading to problems.
Dependence on alcohol, drugs or gambling is sometimes an expression of these
social contradictions and the disadvantages which are part of family life.
The Weakness and Strength of the Family
10. The family, the basic human community, is showing as never before, through
its cultural and social crisis, the great suffering which is being caused by the
family’s weakening and fragile character, and, at the same time, the family’s
great strength, in itself, in being able to compensate for the inadequacy and
inaction of institutions with respect to the formation of the person, the
quality of social ties and the care of the most vulnerable. Therefore, a proper
appreciation of the strength of the family is particularly necessary, if its
weaknesses are to be treated.
Chapter II
The Family and the Socio-Economic Context
The Family: An Irreplaceable Resource of Society
11. The family is still, and will always remain, the fundamental and
indispensable pillar of social life. In fact, many different persons share life
together, through which relationships are strengthened and the family grows in
dialogue and the mutual acceptance of various generations. In this way, the
family represents a fundamental value and an irreplaceable resource for the
harmonious development of every human society, as the Council states: "The
family is a school for human enrichment [...] and the foundation of society" (GS,
52). In the relations in a family — marital, filial and fraternal — all family
members willingly establish strong ties, in harmony and mutual respect, which
permit them to overcome the dangers of isolation and loneliness.
Public Policies on Behalf of the Family
12. Since the family is the leading agent in building society and not a private
matter, adequate public policies on behalf of the family are necessary which
support and promote the family. Furthermore, the recommendation was made to give
consideration to the relationship between welfare and the compensatory action of
the family. With regard to public policies on behalf of the family and
inadequate welfare systems, such compensatory action redistributes resources and
tasks for the common good, helping to re-balance the negative effects of
inequality in society.
13. (6) One symptom of the great poverty of contemporary culture is
loneliness, arising from the absence of God in a person’s life and the fragility
of relationships. There is also a general feeling of powerlessness in the face
of socio-cultural realities that oftentimes end in crushing families. Such is
the case in increasing instances of poverty and unemployment in the workplace,
which at times is a real nightmare or in overwhelming financial difficulties,
which discourage the young from marrying. Families often feel abandoned by the
disinterest and lack of attention by institutions. The negative impact on the
organization of society is clear, as seen in the demographic crisis, in the
difficulty of raising children, in a hesitancy to welcome new life and in
considering the presence of older persons as a burden. All these can affect a
person’s emotional balance, which can sometimes lead to violence. The State has
the responsibility to pass laws and create work to ensure the future of young
people and help them realize their plan of forming a family.
The Economic Challenge
14. The concrete aspects of family life are closely connected with economic
matters. Many point out that, to this day, the family can easily suffer from a
variety of things which make it vulnerable. Among the most important problems
are those related to low wages, unemployment, economic insecurity, lack of
decent work and a secure position at work, human trafficking and slavery.
The following effects of economic inequity are reflected in a particularly
acute manner in the family: growth is impeded; a home is missing; couples do not
wish to have children; children find it difficult to study and become
independent; and a calm planning for the future is precluded. Pope Francis
insists that a change in perception by everyone in society is necessary to
overcome this situation: "Growth in justice requires more than economic growth,
while presupposing such growth: it requires decisions, programmes, mechanisms
and processes specifically geared to a better distribution of income, the
creation of sources of employment and an integral promotion of the poor which
goes beyond a simple welfare mentality" (EG, 204). Renewed solidarity
between generations begins with attending to the poor of this generation, before
those of future generations, giving particular attention to family needs.
The Challenge of Poverty and Social Exclusion
15. A particularly important challenge is posed by social groups. Oftentimes,
these groups are very numerous and characterized by a poverty which is not only
economic but often cultural, thereby preventing the realization of a plan of
family living that is commensurate to the dignity of the person. Moreover,
despite enormous difficulties, many poor families try to live with dignity in
their daily lives, trusting in God, who neither disappoints nor abandons anyone.
There are indications that the current economic system is producing various
kinds of social exclusion. Those who feel excluded fall into various categories.
A common feature, however, is that oftentimes these "outsiders" are "invisible"
in the eyes of society. The dominant culture, the media and major institutions
frequently contribute to continuing — or making even worse — this systematic
"invisibility". In this regard, Pope Francis asks: "Why are we accustomed to
seeing decent work destroyed, countless families evicted, rural farm workers
driven off the land, war waged and nature abused?" And he answers: "Because in
this system man, the human person, has been removed from the centre and replaced
by something else. Because idolatrous worship is devoted to money. Because
indifference has been globalized" (Address to the Participants at the World
Meeting of the Popular Movements, 28 October 2014).
Social exclusion weakens the family and becomes a serious threat to the
dignity of its members. Of particularly concern is the condition of the
children, who seem to be punished a priori, because of social exclusion
and oftentimes are tragically scarred for life by hardship and suffering. They
can truly and properly be called "social orphans".
The Ecological Challenge
16. From the point of view of ecology, problems are seen to arise from an
inadequate access to water by many, the degradation of the environment, hunger
and malnutrition, uncultivated and devastated lands, and a "throw-away" culture.
The described situations have an impact, often a very strong one, on family
living and the serene character of family life.
For these reasons, and also as a result of the efforts of Pope Francis, the
Church hopes and works together with others towards a profound rethinking on the
orientation of the global system, through an ecological culture capable of
formulating a perspective, public policy, an educational programme, a way of
living and a spirituality. Because everything is intimately connected, examining
the aspects of a "holistic ecology" is needed, which includes not only the
environment, but also human, social and economically sustainable development and
the protection of creation.
Chapter III
The Family and Inclusion
The Elderly
17. Many highlight the plight of elderly people within families. In developed
societies the number of the elderly is increasing, while the birth rate
decreases. What the elderly can provide as a resource is not always adequately
appreciated. As noted by Pope Francis: "The number of elderly has multiplied,
but our societies are not organized well enough to make room for them, with
proper respect and practical consideration for their frailty and their dignity.
While we are young, we are led to ignore old age, as if it were a disease to
keep away from; then when we become old, especially if we are poor, if we are
sick and alone, we experience the shortcomings of a society programmed for
efficiency, which consequently ignores its elderly. And the elderly are a wealth
not to be ignored" (General Audience, 4 March 2015).
18. Special attention needs to be given to grandparents in the family. They are
the link between the generations, ensuring the transmission of traditions and
customs in which those who are very young can trace their roots. Furthermore,
they often guarantee, in a discreet manner without financial compensation, a
valuable economic support to young couples and assist in caring for their
grandchildren, even passing on their faith. Many people, especially in these
times, can acknowledge that they owe their initiation into the Christian life to
their grandparents. This demonstrates how the faith is communicated and
safeguarded within the family, in the succession of generations, thereby
becoming an irreplaceable legacy for newer families. Consequently, the elderly
deserve genuine recognition, appreciation and a cordial reception by young
people, families and society.
The Challenge of Widowhood
19. Widowhood is a particularly difficult experience for those who have chosen
and lived marital and family life as a gift from the Lord. Nevertheless, in the
light of faith, this state in life provides various possibilities which can
prove to be invaluable. For example, in enduring this painful experience, some
demonstrate an ability to pour their energies into greater dedication to their
children and grandchildren, finding in this loving experience a new enlightening
mission in raising children. The void left by a deceased spouse, in a certain
sense, is filled by the love of family members who give a value to the person
who remains, thereby allowing him/her to treasure the memory of his/her
marriage. On the contrary, those who cannot count on the presence of relatives
to whom to dedicate themselves and from whom to receive affection and nearness,
ought to receive special attention from the Christian community and given
support through the community’s availability, especially if the persons who are
suffering a loss are poor.
The Final Stage of Life and Mourning in the Family
20. People of advanced age are aware of being in the final stage of life. Their
condition affects every aspect of family life. Facing disease, which often
accompanies the prolongation of old age, and, above all, the prospect of dying,
seen as approaching or actually experienced in the loss of loved ones (spouse,
family, friends) are critical aspects of this stage of life, leading individuals
and the entire family to redefine a sense of equilibrium.
Today, an appreciation of the final stage of life is all the more necessary,
at least in developed countries which try to remove all aspects of this time of
death. In light of the negative view of this period — which considers only the
aspects of decline and the gradual loss of capacity, autonomy and affection — a
person’s final years can be considered and faced with a certain sense of
fulfilment and integration into one’s entire lifetime. It also becomes possible
to discover a new aspect to a person’s productive ability by passing on a
particular moral legacy to future generations. A person’s spirituality and sense
of transcendence, combined with the nearness of family members, are essential
resources so that old age can also be filled with a sense of dignity and hope.
Families undergoing mourning require special care. When the loss concerns
babies, children and young people, the impact on the family is particularly
strong.
The Challenge of Disability
21. Special consideration ought to be given to families with persons with special
needs, where a disability unexpectedly interrupts life, generates a profound and
unforeseen challenge and upsets a family’s balance, desires and expectations,
which causes mixed emotions to be confronted and processed and which imposes
duties, urgent necessities, new needs and different roles and responsibilities.
The conception of the family and its entire life-cycle are deeply disturbed.
Nevertheless, the family, together with the Christian community to which it
belongs, can discover various abilities, unforeseen skills, new gestures and
ways of communicating, forms of understanding and identity, in the long and
difficult journey of acceptance and care in the mystery of life’s fleeting
character.
22. Such a process, in itself extraordinarily complex, becomes even more
difficult in societies where harsh forms of stigma and prejudice still survive,
preventing the fruitful meeting of disability and the emergence of solidarity
and accompaniment by the community. For each person and the entire community,
such a meeting can actually be a valuable opportunity for growth in justice,
love and the defense of the value of every human life, starting with the
recognition of a profound, shared sense of vulnerability. Some ardently desire
that, in a truly welcoming community, the family and the person with special
needs will not feel alone and rejected, but might find relief and support,
especially when the family’s strength and resources are lacking.
23. In this regard, this situation poses the challenge of what is called "after
us", in other words, family situations created by poverty or being alone or the
recently verified phenomenon, whereby, in the most economically advanced
societies, a high probability exists that the lengthening of life expectancy
will allow people with disabilities to survive their parents. If the family is
able to accept, in the light of faith, the presence of persons with special
needs, the family will also help them not to see their disability as a
limitation but rather to recognize their unique gifts and value. This will lead
to guaranteeing, defending and appreciating the potential in every life, both
individually and as a family, and recognizing the needs inherent to the
individual and his/her right to equal dignity and opportunity, to care and
services, to company and affection and to a spirituality, beauty and full sense
of meaning, in every stage of life, from conception, through aging to a natural
death.
The Challenge of Migration
24. Many are concerned about the effects of migration on the family, which, in
various ways, concerns entire populations in different parts of the world.
Person who are migrating require a specific pastoral care, which is given to not
only families in migration but also members of the families who are left behind
in their places of origin. Such care is to be done while respecting their
cultures and the human and religious formation from which each comes. Today,
migration is creating tragic consequences for masses of individuals and
families, as if they were "a surplus" in different populations and territories.
These people legitimately seek a better future and, at times, a "re-birth" in
those cases where they can no longer live in the place of their birth.
25. Various situations of war, persecution, poverty and inequality, usually
because of migration, in addition to a treacherous journey which often threatens
life itself, have a traumatic effect on individuals and their families. Indeed,
in the migration process, the families of migrants are inevitably torn by
multiple experiences of abandonment and division. In many cases, the family unit
dramatically suffers a separation between those who leave ahead of the others
and those who are awaiting a return or reunification. Those who leave find
themselves bereft of their land, culture and language as well as ties with their
extended family and community, not to mention their past and the traditions
followed in the course of their life.
26. Encountering a new country and a new culture is made all the more difficult
when there are no conditions of genuine warmth, acceptance, respect for the
rights of everyone and the right of peaceful coexistence and solidarity. A sense
of disorientation, a nostalgia for a past which is now lost, not to mention
difficulties in an authentic integration into the community — which are
experienced while creating new ties and planning a life combining the past and
present, cultures and localities as well as languages and different mentalities
— are perceived, in many situations today, as insurmountable. Instead, these
experiences indicate renewed suffering in second and third generation migrant
families, fueling a phenomena of fundamentalism and a violent rejection of the
host culture.
A valuable resource in overcoming these difficulties is seen in the
encounters among families. A key role in this process of integration is often
done by mothers, through their sharing the experience of bringing up their
children.
27. The experiences of migration are particularly dramatic and devastating for
families and individuals: when they are illegal; when they are supported by a
network of international trafficking in human beings; when they involve
unaccompanied children; and when they require prolonged periods of time in
places between one country and another and between the past and the future, and
extended time in refugee camps or centres, where it is impossible to begin a
process of establishing roots and planning for the future.
Other Special Challenges
28. (7) Some cultural and religious contexts pose particular
challenges. In some places, polygamy is still being practiced and in places with
long traditions, the custom of "marriage in stages". In other places, "arranged
marriages"are an enduring practice. In countries where Catholicism is the
minority, many mixed and interreligious marriages take place, all with their
inherent difficulties in terms of jurisprudence, Baptism, the upbringing of
children and the mutual respect with regards to difference in faith. In these
marriages there can be a danger of relativism or indifference; but there can
also be the possibility of fostering the spirit of ecumenism and interreligious
dialogue in a living together of diverse communities in the same place. In many
places, and not only in the West, there has been a widespread increase in the
practice of cohabitation before marriage or simply cohabitating with no
intention of a legally binding relationship. In addition to this, there is often
civil legislation which compromises marriage and the family. Because of
secularization in many parts of the world, the reference to God is greatly
diminished and the faith is no longer shared socially.
The Family and Children
29. (8) Especially in some countries, a great number of children are
born outside marriage, many of whom subsequently grow up with just one of their
parents or in a blended or reconstituted family. Divorces are increasing, many
times taking place solely because of economic reasons. Oftentimes, children are
a source of contention between parents and become the real victims of family
break-ups. Fathers who are often absent from their families not simply for
economic reasons need to assume more clearly their responsibility for children
and the family. The dignity of women still needs to be defended and promoted. In
fact, in many places today, simply being a woman is a source of discrimination
and the gift of motherhood is often penalized rather than esteemed. Not to be
overlooked is the increasing violence against women, where they become victims,
unfortunately, often within families and as a result of the serious and
widespread practice of genital mutilation in some cultures. The sexual
exploitation of children is still another scandalous and perverse reality in
present-day society. Societies experiencing violence due to war, terrorism or
the presence of organized crime are witnessing the deterioration of the family,
above all in big cities, where, in their peripheral areas, the so-called
phenomenon of "street-children" is on the rise. Furthermore, migration is
another sign of the times to be faced and understood in terms of its onerous
consequences to family life.
The Role of Women
30. Many quarters are witnessing an emancipation of women which is clearly
indicating a woman’s role in the growth of the family and society. The truth
remains, however, that the status of women in the world differs to a notable
degree, primarily as a result of cultural factors. Undoubtedly, these
problem-situations cannot be resolved simply with an end of the economic crisis
or the arrival of a modern culture, as evidenced by the difficult conditions of
women in various countries of recent development.
In western countries, the empowerment of women requires a rethinking of the
duties of the spouses in their reciprocity and common responsibility towards
family life. In developing countries, the exploitation of women and the violence
done to their bodies and the tiring tasks imposed on them, even during
pregnancy, are oftentimes compounded by abortion and forced sterilization, not
to mention the extreme negative consequences of practices connected with
procreation (for example, a womb "for rent" or the marketing of embryonic
gametes). In advanced countries, the desire for a child "at all costs" has not
resulted in happier and stronger family relationships, but, in many cases, has
actually exacerbated the inequality between women and men. Sterility in a woman,
according to a prejudice in different cultures, is a condition which brings
social discrimination.
A contributing factor in acknowledging the determining role of women in
society could be a greater appreciation of their responsibility in the Church,
namely, their involvement in the decision-making process, their participation —
not simply in a formal way — in the governing of some institutions; and their
involvement in the formation of ordained ministers.
Chapter IV
The Family, Affectivity and Life
The Importance of Affectivity in Life
31. (9) Faced with the aforementioned social situation, people in many
parts of the world are feeling a great need to take care of themselves, to know
themselves better, to live in greater harmony with their emotions and feelings
and to seek affective relationships of quality in the best manner possible.
These proper aspirations can lead to a desire to put greater effort into
building relationships of self-giving and creative reciprocity, which are
empowering and supportive like those within a family. In this case, however,
individualism and living only for one’s self are a real danger. The challenge
for the Church is to assist couples in their emotive maturation and affective
development through fostering dialogue, virtue and trust in the merciful love of
God. The full commitment required in marriage can be a strong antidote to the
temptation of a selfish individualism.
The Formation of Affectivity
32. Families need to recognize their direct responsibility in the formation of
affectivity in younger generations. The speed with which changes are occurring
in contemporary society makes guidance in achieving the affectivity of the whole
person more difficult. This also requires that pastoral workers be trained
properly, with not only a thorough knowledge of Scripture and Catholic doctrine
but also pedagogical tools, as well as a suitable number of sociologists and
doctors. A knowledge of the psychology of the family will be of assistance in
effectively transmitting a Christian conception of affectivity. This effort at
education might already begin with the catechesis of Christian initiation.
Affective Fragility and Immaturity
33. (10) Cultural tendencies in today’s world seem to set no limits on a
person’s affectivity in which every aspect needs to be explored, even those
which are highly complex. Indeed, nowadays the question of affective fragility
is a pressing one; a narcissistic, unstable or changeable affectivity does not always allow a person to grow to maturity.
Particularly worrisome is the spread of pornography and the commercialization of
the body, fostered also by a misuse of the internet and reprehensible situations
where people are forced into prostitution. In this context, couples are often
uncertain, hesitant and struggling to find ways to grow. Many tend to remain in
the early stages of their affective and sexual life. A crisis in a couple’s
relationship destabilizes the family and may lead, through separation and
divorce, to serious consequences for adults, children and society as a whole,
weakening its individual and social bonds. The decline in population, due to a
mentality against having children and promoted by the world politics of
reproductive health, creates not only a situation in which the relationship
between generations is no longer ensured but also the danger that, over time,
this decline will lead to economic impoverishment and a loss of hope in the
future. The development of bio-technology has also had a major impact on the
birthrate.
The Bio-ethical Challenge
34. Indications come from many parts of the world that the so-called
bio-technological revolution has introduced into the field of human procreation
the possibility of manipulating the act of human reproduction, making it
independent of the sexual relationship between man and woman. In this way, human
life and parenthood have become modular and separable realities, subject mainly
to the wishes of individuals or couples who are not necessarily heterosexual or
regularly married. In recent times, this phenomenon, occurring as a true novelty
in human sexuality and gaining increasing popularity, is having a profound
effect in relationships, in society and in the judicial system which intervenes
in an attempt to regulate a variety of different situations and what is already
taking place.
The Pastoral Challenge
35. (11) In this regard, the Church is conscious of the need to offer a
word of truth and hope, which is based that man comes from God, and that,
consequently, a reflection of capable of reframing the great questions about the
meaning of human existence can be responsive to humanity's most profound
expectations. The great values of marriage and the Christian family correspond
to the search that characterizes human existence, even in these times of
individualism and hedonism. People need to be accepted in the concrete
circumstances of life. We need to know how to support them in their searching
and to encourage them in their hunger for God and their wish to feel fully part
of the Church, also including those who have experienced failure or find
themselves in a variety of situations. The Christian message always contains in
itself the reality and the dynamic of mercy and truth that meet in Christ.
36. In formation programmes for marriage and family life, pastoral workers are to
take into consideration the diversity of concrete situations. On the one hand,
they need to promote programmes which ensure that young people are properly
formed; on the other hand, programmes are equally necessary for those who have
not married and oftentimes still live with their parents. Couples who are unable
to have children should also receive the Church’s special pastoral attention so
they may perceive God’s plan in their situation, in service to the entire
community.
Many request that the group of persons referred to as "far from the Church"
not carry the connotation of "excluded" or "rejected," since such persons are
loved by God and are at the heart of the Church’s pastoral activity. Everyone is
entitled to be treated with understanding, bearing in mind that some situations
which keep people from participating in the life of the Church are not always
intentionally chosen. Oftentimes these situations result — and are sometimes
endured with great suffering — because of the conduct of a third party.
PART II
The Discernment of the Family Vocation
Chapter I
The Family and Divine Pedagogy
Looking at Jesus and the Divine Pedagogy in the History of Salvation
37. (12) In order to "walk among contemporary challenges, the decisive
condition is to maintain a fixed gaze on Jesus Christ, to pause in contemplation
and in adoration of his Face. ... Indeed, every time we return to the source of
the Christian experience, new paths and undreamed of possibilities open up"
(Francis, Discourse, 4 October 2014). Jesus looked upon the women and the
men he met with love and tenderness, accompanying their steps with patience and
mercy, in proclaiming the demands of the Kingdom of God.
The Word of God in the Family
38. To look at Jesus means, above all, to listen to his Word. Reading Sacred
Scripture in not only the community but also the home leads to enlightening the
centrality of the couple and the family in God's plan and to understanding how
God might enter into family life, thereby making it more beautiful and vital.
Despite several initiatives, however, it seems that Catholic families still
lack a more direct contact with the Bible. The pastoral care of the family
increasingly highlights the centrality of encountering Christ, an experience
which naturally takes place when the family is grounded in Sacred Scripture.
Therefore, many wish, above all, that a vital relationship with the Word of God
be encouraged in families, so that they might be orientated towards a true and
proper personal encounter with Jesus Christ. A recommended approach to Sacred
Scripture is lectio divina, which is a prayerful reading of the Word of
God and a source of inspiration in everyday life.
The Divine Pedagogy
39. (13) Since the order of creation is determined by its orientation
towards Christ, a distinction needs to be made without separating the various
levels through which God communicates to humanity the grace of the covenant. By
reason of the divine pedagogy, according to which the order of creation develops
through successive stages to the order of redemption, we need to understand the
newness of the Christian Sacrament of Marriage in continuity with natural
marriage of the origins, that is, the manner of God’s saving action in both
creation and the Christian life. In creation, because all things were made
through Christ and for him (cf. Col 1:16), Christians "gladly and
reverently lay bare the seeds of the Word which lie hidden among their fellows;
they ought to follow attentively the profound changes which are taking place
among peoples" (AG, 11). In the Christian life, the reception of Baptism
brings the believer into the Church through the domestic church, namely, the
family; thus beginning "a dynamic process [which] develops, one which advances
gradually with the progressive integration of the gifts of God" (FC, 9),
in an ongoing conversion to a love that saves us from sin and gives us fullness
of life.
Natural Marriage and the Fullness of the Sacrament
40. Bearing in mind that natural realities must be understood in the light of
grace, one cannot fail to remember that the order of redemption illuminates and
celebrates the order of creation. Natural marriage, therefore, is fully
understood in light of its realization in the Sacrament of Matrimony. Only in
fixing one’s gaze on Christ can a person come to an in-depth knowledge of the
truth of human relationships. "Only in the mystery of the incarnate Word is the
mystery of the person enlightened. [...] Christ, the new Adam, by the revelation
of the mystery of the Father and his love, fully reveals a person to him/herself
and makes his/her supreme calling clear" (GS, 22). With this in mind, it
seems particularly opportune, using a Christocentric key, to understand the rich
and varied natural characteristics of marriage.
Jesus and the Family
41. (14) Jesus himself, referring to the original plan of the human
couple, reaffirms the indissoluble union between a man and a woman, though
saying to the Pharisees that "for your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to
divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so"(Mt 19: 8). The
indissolubility of marriage ("what therefore God has joined together, let no man
put asunder" Mt 19:6), is to be understood not as a "yoke" imposed on
persons but as a "gift" to a husband and wife united in marriage. In this way,
Jesus shows how God’s humbling act of coming to earth might always accompany the
human journey and might heal and transform a hardened heart with his grace,
orientating it towards its principle, by way of the cross. The Gospels make
clear that Jesus’ example is paradigmatic for the Church. In fact, Jesus was
born in a family; he began to work his signs at the wedding of Cana and he
announced the meaning of marriage as the fullness of revelation that restores
the original divine plan (Mt 19:3). At the same time, however, he put
what he taught into practice and manifested the true meaning of mercy, clearly
illustrated in his meeting with the Samaritan woman (Jn 4:1-30) and with
the adulteress (Jn 8:1-11). By looking at the sinner with love, Jesus
leads the person to repentance and conversion ("Go and sin no more"), which is
the basis for forgiveness.
Indissolubility: A Gift and Task
42. The testimony of couples who fully live a Christian marriage highlights the
value of the indissoluble bond of marriage and demonstrates always new ways of
witnessing to marital fidelity. Indissolubility represents a personal response
to the profound desire for mutual and enduring love: a "never-ending" love which
becomes a choice and a gift of one’s self, a gift made by each spouse to the
other, sealing the couple’s relation to God himself and all that God entrusts to
them. Particularly important from this perspective is the celebration of wedding
anniversaries in the Christian community so as to recall that, if a marriage is
grounded in Christ, permanently living together as a couple is not only possible
but also a beautiful experience.
The Gospel of the Family offers an ideal in life which must take into account
a sense of the times and the real difficulties in permanently maintaining
commitments. In this regard, the Church needs to proclaim a message which might
give hope and not be burdensome, so that every family may know that the Church
never abandons the family, because of "the indissoluble bond of the history of
Christ and his Church with the history of marriage and the human family"
(Francis, General Audience, 6 May 2015).
Living as a Family
43. Many recommend fostering a morality of grace which might lead to the
discovery and flowering of the beauty of the virtues inherent in married life,
which include: respect and mutual trust; mutual acceptance and gratitude; and
patience and forgiveness. Pope Francis says that above the portal leading to
family life "are written three words [...] ‘may I?’, ‘thank you’ and ‘pardon
me’. Indeed, these expressions open up the way to living well in your family, to
living in peace. They are simple expressions, but not so simple to put into
practice! They hold much power: the power to keep home life intact even when
tested with a thousand problems. But if they are absent, little holes can start
to crack open and the whole thing may even collapse."(Francis, General
Audience, 13 May 2015). Indeed, the celebration of the Sacrament of
Matrimony is the beginning of a process which includes and sustains the various
stages and trials of love, all of which, nourished by grace, requires a gradual
growth towards full development.
The Family in God’s Salvific Plan
44. (15) The words of eternal life, which Jesus gave to his disciples,
included the teaching on marriage and the family. Jesus’ teaching allows us to
distinguish three basic stages in God's plan for marriage and the family. In the
beginning, there is the original family, when God the Creator instituted the
first marriage between Adam and Eve as the solid foundation of the family. God
not only created human beings male and female (Gen 1:27), but he also
blessed them so they might be fruitful and multiply (Gen 1:28). For this
reason, "a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife and the
two become one flesh" (Gen 2:24). This union was wounded by sin and
became the historical form of marriage among the People of God, for which Moses
granted the possibility of issuing a bill of divorce (cf. Dt 24:1ff.).
This was the principal practice in the time of Jesus. With Christ’s coming and
his reconciling a fallen world through his redemption, the period begun by Moses
ended.
Conjugal Union and Fruitfulness
45. Some stressed that highlighting the teaching contained in Sacred Scripture
can be of assistance in showing how, from the time of Genesis, God sealed the
couple with his image and likeness. Along these lines, Pope Francis recalled
that "man alone is not the image of God nor is woman alone the image of God, but
man and woman as a couple are the image of God. The difference between man and
woman is not meant to stand in opposition, or to subordinate, but is for the
sake of communion and generation, always in the image and likeness of God." (General
Audience, 15 April 2015). Some point out that the complementary nature of
the unitive and procreative character in marriage is written into the divine
plan in creation: the unitive character being the result of a conscious,
gratutitous and deliberate choice, which is realized in the procreative
character. Furthermore, the procreative act must be understood from the vantage
point of responsible parenthood and the duty of faithfully caring for and
raising children.
The Family: Image of the Trinity
46. (16) Jesus, who reconciled all things in himself, restored marriage
and the family to their original form (Mk 10:1-12). Marriage and the
family have been redeemed by Christ (Eph 5:21-32), restored in the image
of the Holy Trinity, the mystery from which every true love flows. The spousal
covenant, originating in creation and revealed in the history of salvation,
receives its full meaning in Christ and his Church. Through his Church, Christ
bestows on marriage and the family the grace necessary to witness to the love of
God and to live the life of communion. The Gospel of the Family spans the
history of the world from the creation of man in the image and likeness of God
(cf. Gn 1: 26-27) until it reaches, at the end of time, its fulfillment
in the mystery of the Christ’s Covenant with the wedding of Lamb (cf. Rev
19:9) (cf. Saint John Paul II, Catechesis on Human Love)
Chapter II
The Family and Church Life
The Family in the Church’s Documents
47. (17) "Throughout the centuries, the Church has maintained her
constant teaching on marriage and family. One of the highest expressions of this
teaching was proposed by the Second Vatican Council, in the Pastoral
Constitution Gaudium et Spes, which devotes an entire chapter to
promoting the dignity of marriage and the family (cf. GS, 47-52). This
document defined marriage as a community of life and love (cf. GS, 48),
placing love at the center of the family and manifesting, at the same time, the
truth of this love in counter distinction to the various forms of reductionism
present in contemporary culture. The ‘true love between husband and wife’ (GS,
49) implies a mutual gift of self and includes and integrates the sexual and
affective aspects, according to the divine plan (cf. GS, 48-49).
Furthermore, Gaudium et Spes, 48, emphasizes the grounding of the spouses
in Christ. Christ the Lord ‘comes into the lives of married Christians through
the Sacrament of Matrimony’ and remains with them. In the Incarnation, he
assumes human love, purifies it and brings it to fulfillment and gives to the
spouses, with his Spirit, the capacity to live that love, permeating every part
of their lives of faith, hope and charity. In this way, the bride and groom are,
so to speak, consecrated and, through his grace, they build up the Body of
Christ and are a domestic church (cf. LG, 11), so that the Church, in
order fully to understand her mystery, looks to the Christian family, which
manifests her in a real way" (IL, 4).
48. In light of the teaching of the Second Vatican Council and successive
Magisterial documents, the recommendation was made to thoroughly examine the
missionary dimension of the family as a domestic Church, which is grounded in
the Sacrament of Baptism and achieved by fulfilling one’s proper task within the
Christian community. By nature, the family is missionary and increases its faith
in the very act of communicating that faith to others. To appreciate the
missionary role entrusted to the family calls for Christian families to
rediscover the call to witness to the Gospel with their lives and not allow
their faith to remain hidden. The actual "living out" of family communion is a
form of missionary proclamation. In this regard, the role of the family needs to
be promoted in pastoral activity through various forms of witness which include:
solidarity with the poor, openness to the diversity among people, the
stewardship of creation and a commitment to fostering the common good, beginning
primarily where one lives.
The Family: The Way of the Church
49. (18) "In the wake of Vatican II, the papal Magisterium has further
refined the doctrine on marriage and the family. In a special way, Blessed Pope
Paul VI, in his Encyclical Humanae Vitae, displayed the intimate bond
between conjugal love and the generation of life. Pope St. John Paul II devoted
special attention to the family in his catechesis on human love, his Letter to
Families (Gratissimam Sane) and, especially, his Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio. In these documents, the Pope called the family the ‘way
of the Church,’ gave an overview on the vocation of man and woman to love and
proposed the basic guidelines for the pastoral care of the family and the
presence of the family in society. In specifically treating ‘conjugal love’ (cf.
FC, 13), he described how the spouses, through their mutual love, receive
the gift of the Spirit of Christ and live their call to holiness" (IL, 5).
The Divine Measure of Love
50. (19) "Pope Benedict XVI, in his Encyclical Deus Caritas Est,
again took up the topic of the truth of the love between man and woman, which is
fully understood only in light of the love of Christ Crucified (cf. DCE,
2). The Pope emphasized that ‘marriage based on an exclusive and definitive love
becomes the icon of the relationship between God and his people and vice versa.
God's way of loving becomes the measure of human love’ (DCE, 11).
Moreover, in his Encyclical Caritas in Veritate, he emphasizes the
importance of love as the principle of life in society (cf. CV, 44), the
place where a person learns to experience the common good" (IL, 6).
The Family at Prayer
51. The teaching of the Popes is an invitation to thoroughly examine the
spiritual aspect of family life, beginning with rediscovering family prayer and
listening in common to the Word of God, which leads to a commitment to the works
of charity. Of basic importance in family life is rediscovering the Lord's Day
as a sign of the family‘s deep sense of belonging to the ecclesial community.
Adequate pastoral guidance is also proposed so that a concrete family
spirituality can grow in response to questions which arise in everyday life.
Particularly helpful would be nourishing a family spirituality with strong faith
experiences, especially in faithfully participating in the Eucharist, "the
source and summit of entire Christian life" (LG, 11).
The Family and Faith
52. (20) "Pope Francis, in his Encyclical Lumen Fidei, treating
the connection between the family and faith, writes: ‘Encountering Christ,
letting themselves (young people) be caught up in and guided by his love,
enlarges the horizons of existence, gives it a firm hope which will not
disappoint. Faith is no refuge for the fainthearted, but something which
enhances our lives. It makes us aware of a magnificent calling, the vocation of
love. It assures us that this love is trustworthy and worth embracing, for it is
based on God’s faithfulness which is stronger than our every weakness’ (LF,
53)" (IL, 7).
Catechesis and the Family
53. Many consider that the catechetical programme for the family needs to be
revised. In this regard, attention might be given to involving married couples
in catechesis, especially with their children, in conjunction with priests,
deacons and consecrated persons. This collaboration serves to demonstrate that
the vocation of marriage is an important reality which requires an adequate
preparation for a reasonable period of time. Integrating sound Christian
families and dependable ministers in this programme adds to a community’s
credibility in its witnessing to young people on their journey in making
significant choices in their lives.
The Christian community refuses to be simply a place to go for human
services; instead the Christian community is a place where families are born and
where they meet and interact as they walk together in faith and share ways of
growth and mutual exchange.
The Indissolubility of Marriage and the Joy of Sharing Life Together
54. (21) Mutual self-giving in the Sacrament of Marriage is grounded in
the grace of Baptism, which establishes the foundational covenant of every
person with Christ in the Church. In accepting each other and with Christ’s
grace, the engaged couple promises a total self-giving, faithfulness and
openness to new life. The married couple recognizes these elements as
constitutive in marriage, gifts offered to them by God, taking seriously their
mutual commitment, in God’s name and in the presence of the Church. So, in faith
it is possible to assume the goods of marriage as commitments which are more
sustainable through the help of the grace of the Sacrament. God consecrates the
love of husband and wife and confirms its indissolubility, offering them
assistance to live their faithfulness, mutual complementarity and openness to
life. Therefore, the Church looks to married couples as the heart of the entire
family, which, in turn, looks to Jesus.
55. Joy is an expression of the full realization of a person. To manifest the
unique joy of the union of husband and wife and the formation of a new family
calls for presenting the family as a place of personal and gratuitous relations,
unlike those in society. The voluntary and reciprocal self-giving, the life
which is born and the care of one member for the other, from the youngest to the
oldest, are just some of the aspects which make the family unique in its beauty.
It is important to develop the idea that marriage is a life-long choice which
does not limit one’s existence, but instead makes it richer and fuller, even in
times of difficulty.
Through this choice in life, the family builds society not as simply the
numerical sum of the residents of a particular territory or as a group of
citizens of a given State, but as a genuine experience of a people united in
spirit and, in the case of the Church, the People of God.
Chapter III
The Family and The Path Leading to its Fullness
The Mystery of Matrimony in relation to the Creator
56. (22) From the same perspective, in keeping with the teaching of the
Apostle who said that the whole of creation was planned in Christ and for him
(cf. Col 1:16), the Second Vatican Council wished to express appreciation
for natural marriage and the valid elements present in other religions (cf. NA, 2) and cultures, despite their limitations and shortcomings (cf.
RM,
55). The presence of the seeds of the Word in these cultures (cf. AG, 11)
could even be applied, in some ways, to marriage and the family in so many
non-Christian societies and individuals. Valid elements, therefore, exist in
some forms outside of Christian marriage — based, however, on a stable and true
relationship of a man and a woman — which, in any case, we maintain are oriented
towards Christian marriage. With an eye to the popular wisdom of different
peoples and cultures, the Church also recognizes this type of family as the
basic, necessary and fruitful unit for humanity’s life together.
57. The Church is aware of the lofty aspects of the mystery of marriage between a
man and a woman, a mystery seen in the context of the relationship between the
person created by God and God the Creator. Therefore, the Church wishes to
highlight this original grace, that arises from the relation of the created
person and the Creator and is part and parcel of the experience of the marriage
covenant, which God intentionally designed to correspond to marriage’s original
vocation and to justly putting this vocation into effect. The seriousness of
adhering to this divine plan and the courage required to witness to it is
especially to be esteemed in these times, when this conception, which touches
upon every relationship within the family, is called into question, if not
opposed or outrightly dismissed.
Therefore, even in cases where the decision of persons living together or
those civilly married to proceed to a sacramental marriage is still in a virtual
state or in its initial stage or not yet specifically defined, the Church is
asked not shy away from the task of encouraging and supporting such a
development. At the same time, something good can be done by showing, in a
friendly manner, an appreciation for the commitment already made and
acknowledging adherence to those elements proper to the divine plan arising from
the relation of the person created by God and God the Creator.
Some emphasize the importance of developing adequate pastoral care for
families of marriages of disparity of cult, whose number is growing in not only
mission territories, but also countries of a well-established, Christian
tradition.
The Truth and Beauty of the Family and Mercy towards Broken and Fragile
Families
58. (23) With inner joy and deep comfort, the Church looks to families
who remain faithful to the teachings of the Gospel, encouraging them and
thanking them for the testimony they offer. In fact, they witness, in a credible
way, to the beauty of a marriage which is indissoluble and faithful forever,
while always remaining faithful to each other. Within the family, "which could
be called a domestic church" (LG, 11), a person begins a Church
experience of communion among persons, which reflects, through grace, the
Mystery of the Holy Trinity. "In a family, a person learns the effort and the
joy of work, fraternal love, and generosity in forgiving others — always renewed
— and above all divine worship in prayer and the offering of one's life" (CCC,
1657). The Holy Family of Nazareth is a wondrous model in whose school we
"understand why we have to maintain spiritual discipline, if we wish to follow
the teachings of the Gospel and become Christ’s disciples" (Blessed Pope Paul
VI, Address at Nazareth, 5 January 1964). The Gospel of the Family also
nourishes the seeds which are still waiting to grow; and serves as the basis for
caring for those trees which have withered and must not be neglected.
The Intimate Bond between the Church and the Family
59. The blessing and responsibility of a new family, sealed in the Church’s
Sacrament of Matrimony, implies a willingness to be promoters and advocates,
within the Christian community, of the general calibre of the covenant between
man and woman in all areas of society, the procreation of children, the
protection of the weakest in society and life in common. This willingness
requires a responsibility which should be supported, recognized and appreciated.
In virtue of the Sacrament of Marriage, each family becomes in every way a
blessing for the Church, who requests on her part to be considered a blessing by
the new-born family. From this perspective, the Church would certainly offer a
precious gift in these times, if she displayed a humble willingness more
equitably to consider this reciprocity of the bonum Ecclesię, namely, the
Church is a blessing for the family and the family is blessing for the Church.
Safeguarding the Lord’s gift in the Sacrament is the responsibility of the
Christian couple, on the one hand, and the Christian community, on the other,
each in due manner. When difficulties, even serious ones, arise in maintaining
the union of marriage, discerning each’s obligations and failures ought to be
examined fairly by the couple with the assistance of the community, so that each
may understand, assess and repair what was omitted or neglected.
60. (24) The Church, a sure teacher and caring mother, recognizes that
the only marriage bond for those who are baptized is sacramental and any breach
of it is against the will of God. At the same time, the Church is conscious of
the weakness of many of her children who are struggling in their journey of
faith. "Consequently, without detracting from the evangelical ideal, they need
to accompany with mercy and patience the eventual stages of personal growth as
these progressively occur. [...] A small step in the midst of great human
limitations can be more pleasing to God than a life which outwardly appears in
order and passes the day without confronting great difficulties. Everyone needs
to be touched by the comfort and attraction of God’s saving love, which is
mysteriously at work in each person, above and beyond their faults and
failings"(GE, 44).
The Family: A Gift and Task
61. The faithful’s attitude towards people who have not yet come to an
understanding of the importance of the Sacrament of Marriage is expressed
primarily in a personal, friendly relationship which accepts another as he/she
is, without judging, and seeks to meet his/her basic needs and, at the same
time, witnessing to God’s love and mercy. It is important to be clearly aware
that everyone is weak and that each person is a sinner like everyone else, yet
not failing to affirm the blessings and values of a Christian marriage.
Moreover, people need to become aware that in God’s plan the family is not a
duty but a gift, and that today the decision to enter into the Sacrament of
Marriage is not a foregone conclusion but something to be developed and a goal
to be achieved.
Assistance in Reaching the Fullness of God’s Plan
62. (25) In considering a pastoral approach towards people who have
contracted a civil marriage, who are divorced and remarried or simply living
together, the Church has the responsibility of helping them understand the
divine pedagogy of grace in their lives and offering them assistance so they can
reach the fullness of the God’s plan for them. Looking to Christ, whose light
illumines every person (cf. Jn 1:9; GS, 22), the Church turns with
love to those who participate in her life in an incomplete manner, recognizing
that the grace of God works also in their lives by giving them the courage to do
good, to care for one another in love and to be of service to the community in
which they live and work.
63. The Christian community might also display a friendliness to couples in
difficulty through the nearness of those families who are actually living a
Christian marriage. The Church draws near spouses who are running the risk of
separation, so they can rediscover the beauty and the strength of their married
life. In cases of a painful end to a relationship, the Church feels the duty of
being close to these people in their time of suffering in such a way as to
prevent disastrous conflicts between the spouses and, above all, to minimize the
suffering of the children.
Some expressed the wish that Dioceses promote programmes which gradually
involve people living together or civilly married. Starting with civil marriage,
a Christian marriage might then be achieved, after a period of discernment,
which may lead in the end to a truly informed choice.
64. (26) The Church looks with concern at the distrust of many young
people in relation to a commitment in marriage and suffers at the haste with
which many of the faithful decide to put an end to the obligation they assumed
and to take on another. These lay faithful, who are members of the Church, need
pastoral attention that is merciful and encouraging and that adequately
distinguishes situations. Young people who are baptized should be encouraged to
understand that the Sacrament of Marriage can enrich their prospects of love and
that they can be sustained by the grace of Christ in the Sacrament and by the
possibility of participating fully in the life of the Church.
The Young and the Fear of Marrying
65. When considering the prospect of marriage, many young people are afraid of
failure, which is also a result of their witnessing, in these times, many
marriage break-ups. Consequently, more attention needs to be given to discerning
the underlying reasons for their renunciation and discouragement. Indeed, some
think that, in many cases, the reasons might have to do precisely with an
awareness of a goal which — while appreciated and no less desired — seems
incommensurable in reasonably evaluating one’s strengths or might arise from a
grave doubt about the constancy of one’s feelings. As for fidelity and stability
in a loving relationship, which, nevertheless, still remain desirable, some
young people feel an anxiety — or even anguish — at not being able to ensure
fidelity and stability in love, which often causes them to renounce marrying.
Such difficulty, though in itself surmountable, is referred to as proof that
fidelity and stability in love is radically impossible. In addition, sometimes
aspects of social convenience and economic problems related to the celebration
of marriage have an impact in the decision not to marry.
66. (27) In this regard, a new aspect of family ministry is
requiring attention today — the reality of civil marriages between a man and
woman, traditional marriages and, taking into consideration the differences
involved, even cohabitation. When a union reaches a particular stability,
legally recognized, characterized by deep affection and responsibility for
children and showing an ability to overcome trials, these unions can offer
occasions for guidance with an eye towards the eventual celebration of the
Sacrament of Marriage. Very often, on the other hand, a couple lives together
not in view of a possible future marriage but without any intention of a legally
binding relationship.
67. (28) In accordance with Christ’s mercy, the Church must accompany
with attention and care the weakest of her children, who show signs of a wounded
and lost love, by restoring in them hope and confidence, like the beacon of a
lighthouse in a port or a torch carried among the people to enlighten those who
have lost their way or who are in the midst of a storm. Conscious that the most
merciful thing is to tell the truth in love, we go beyond compassion. Merciful
love, as it attracts and unites, transforms and elevates. It is an invitation to
conversion. We understand the Lord’s attitude in the same way; he does not
condemn the adulterous woman, but asks her to sin no more (Jn 8:1-11).
Mercy and Revealed Truth
68. The Church’s point of departure is the concrete situation of today's
families, all in need of mercy, beginning with those who are suffering most. In
fact, mercy manifests the sovereignty of God, which permits him to be faithful,
time and again, to his very being, which is love (cf. 1 Jn 4, 8) and to
his covenant. Mercy is the revelation of the faithfulness and identity of God in
himself, and thus, at the same time, a demonstration of the Christian identity.
Consequently, mercy does not detract from the truth; mercy is revealed truth
itself and is closely linked with the fundamental truths of the faith — the
incarnation, death and resurrection of the Lord. Without these truths, mercy
would vanish. Mercy is "the core of the revelation of Jesus Christ" (MV,
25)
Part III
The Mission of the Family Today
Chapter I
The Family and Evangelization
Proclaiming the Gospel of the Family Today in Various Contexts
69. (29) Discussion at the synod focussed on some of the more urgent
pastoral needs to be addressed in the local Churches, in communion cum Petro
et sub Petro. Proclaiming the Gospel of the Family is urgently needed in the
work of evangelization. The Church has to carry this out with the tenderness of
a mother and the clarity of a teacher (cf. Eph 4:15), in faithfulness to
the mercy displayed in Christ’s kenosis. Truth became flesh in human
weakness, not to condemn it but to save it (cf. Gn 3:16, 17).
Tenderness in the Family — God’s Tenderness
70. Tenderness means to give joyfully and, in turn, to stir in another person the
joy of feeling loved. Tenderness is expressed in a particular way in looking at
another’s limitations in a loving way, especially when they clearly stand out.
Dealing with delicacy and respect means attending to wounds and restoring hope
in such a way as to revitalize trust in the other. Tenderness in family
relationships is the virtue which helps people overcome the everyday conflicts
within a person and in relations with others. In this regard, Pope Francis
invites everyone to reflect on his words: "Do we have the courage to welcome
with tenderness the difficulties and problems of those who are near to us, or do
we prefer impersonal solutions, perhaps effective but devoid of the warmth of
the Gospel? How much the world needs tenderness today! The patience of God, the
closeness of God, the tenderness of God."(Homily for the Midnight Mass on the
Solemnity of Christmas, 24 December 2014).
71. (30) Evangelizing is the shared responsibility of all God’s people,
each according to his ministry and charism. Without the joyous testimony of
married people and families, domestic churches, proclamation, even if done in
its proper way, risks being misunderstood or lost in a flurry of words that is
characteristic of society today (cf. NMI, 50). On various occasions, the
synod fathers emphasized that Catholic families, by reason of the grace of the
Sacrament of Marriage, are called upon to be the active agents in every pastoral
activity on behalf of the family.
The Family: Agent of Pastoral Activity
72. The Church must instill in families a sense of belonging to the Church, a
sense of "we", in which no member is forgotten. Everyone ought to be encouraged
to develop their skills and accomplish their personal plan of life in service of
the Kingdom of God. Likewise, every family within the Church ought to rediscover
the joy of communion with other families so as to serve the common good of
society by promoting a public policy, an economy and a culture in service of the
family, even through the use of the social network and the media.
This calls for the ability to create small communities of families as living
witnesses of Gospel values. Some families need to be prepared, trained and
empowered so they can accompany other families in living in a Christian manner.
Families who are willing to assume the mission ad gentes are to be
acknowledged and encouraged. Finally, linking the pastoral ministry of young
people with that on behalf of the family is of noted importance.
The Wedding Liturgy
73. An engaged couple spends a considerable length of time preparing for
marriage. The actual celebration of marriage, preferably in the community to
which one or both of them belongs, requires due attention and emphasis, above
all, on the celebration’s proper spiritual and ecclesial character. The
Christian community, in warmly and joyfully participating in the celebration and
through the invocation of the Holy Spirit, receives the new family in its midst
so that, as the domestic Church, the new family might feel itself a part of the
larger Church family.
Frequently, the celebrant has occasion to address an assembly of people who
minimally participate in the life of the Church or who belong to other Christian
denominations or other religions. Consequently, this can serve as a valuable
opportunity to proclaim the Gospel of the Family, which might prompt, even in
the families that are present, a rediscovery of the divine gifts of faith and
love. The celebration of a wedding is also a timely occasion to invite many to
celebrate the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
The Family: God’s Work
74. (31) The primacy of grace needs to be highlighted and,
consequently, the possibilities that the Spirit provides in the Sacrament. It is
a question of allowing people to experience that the Gospel of the Family is a
joy that "fills hearts and lives", because in Christ we are "set free from sin,
sorrow, inner emptiness, and loneliness" (EG, 1). In light of the Parable
of the Sower (cf. Mt 13;3), our task is to cooperate in the sowing; the
rest is God’s work; nor must we forget that, in preaching about the family, the
Church is a sign of contradiction.
75. The primacy of grace is fully manifested when the family renders an account
of its faith and the married couple actually live their marriage as a vocation.
In this regard, the following recommendations were made: to support and
encourage the faithful witness of Christian couples; to engage in sound
programmes of growth in the grace of Baptism, especially in youth programmes; to
adopt a symbolic, experiential and meaningful language in preaching and
catechesis; and to provide meetings and special courses for pastoral workers, so
they can effectively communicate with their listeners and educate them to invoke
and recognize God’s presence in their sacramental union and the continuing
process of conversion.
Missionary Conversion and a Renewal in Language
76. (32) Consequently, this work calls for missionary conversion by
everyone in the Church, that is, not stopping at proclaiming a merely
theoretical message with no connection to people’s real problems. We must
continually bear in mind that the crisis of faith has led to a crisis in
marriage and the family and that, consequently, the transmission of faith itself
from parents to children has often been interrupted. In the face of a strong
faith, the imposition of certain cultural perspectives which weaken the family
and marriage will cause no harm.
77. (33) Conversion also needs to be seen in the language we use, so
that it might prove to be effectively meaningful. Proclamation needs to create
an experience where the Gospel of the Family responds to the deepest
expectations of the human person: a response to each one’s dignity and complete
fulfilment in reciprocity, communion and fruitfulness. This does not consist,
not in merely presenting a set of rules, but in espousing values that respond to
the needs of those who find themselves today even in the most secularized of
countries.
78. The Christian message ought to be preferably proclaimed in a manner which
might inspire hope. A clear, inviting and open communication needs to be
adopted, one which does not moralize, judge or control, but bears witness to the
Church's moral teaching, while, at the same time, remaining sensitive to the
circumstances of each individual.
Since many do not understand the various subjects of the Church’s
Magisterium, a language is urgently needed which everyone, especially young
people, can understand and one which conveys the beauty of family love and the
meaning of terms, such as self-giving, conjugal love, fertility and procreation.
Using Culture as a Means
79. In these times, it seems necessary to use culture as a means to more
adequately transmit the faith, a culture which is capable of coherently
expressing both faithfulness to the Gospel of Christ and to the person of today.
Blessed Paul VI taught: "On us particularly, the pastors of the Church, rests
the responsibility for reshaping with boldness and wisdom, but in complete
fidelity to the content of evangelization, the means that are most suitable and
effective for communicating the Gospel message to the men and women of our
times." (EN, 40).
Today in particular, stress needs to be placed on the importance of a joyful
and optimistic proclamation of the truths of the faith concerning the family and
also making use of specialized teams and experts in communication who might know
how to give proper consideration to the issues arising from how people are
living in these times.
The Word of God: Source of the Spiritual Life of the Family
80. (34) The Word of God is the source of life and spirituality for the
family. All pastoral work on behalf of the family must allow people to be
interiorly fashioned and formed as members of the domestic church through the
Church’s prayerful reading of Sacred Scripture. The Word of God is not only good
news in a person’s private life but also a criterion of judgment and a light in
discerning the various challenges that married couples and families encounter.
81. In light of the Word of God, which requires discernment in various
situations, pastoral care ought to take into consideration the need of
communicating with others in a manner open to dialogue and free from prejudice,
especially in cases where Catholics, in matters of marriage and family life, do
not live or are in no condition to live in full accord with the Church’s
teaching
A Symphony of Differences
82. (35) At the same time, many synod fathers insisted on a more
positive approach to the richness of various religious experiences, without
overlooking the inherent difficulties. In these different religious realities
and in the great cultural diversity that characterizes countries, positive
possibilities should be appreciated first, and then, on this basis, limitations
and deficiencies should be evaluated.
83. Based on the existence of religious and cultural pluralism, some wish that
the Synod retain and value the image of a "symphony of differences." Generally
speaking, there are indications that pastoral care on behalf of marriage and
family needs to appreciate the positive elements present in different cultural
and religious experiences, which are a pręparatio evangelica, that is, "a
preparation for the Gospel." An encounter with people who have chosen the path
of awareness and responsibility towards the authentic goods of marriage can
establish an effective collaboration for the promotion and defense of the
family.
Chapter II
The Family and Formation
Marriage Preparation
84. (36) Christian marriage is a vocation that is undertaken with due
preparation in a journey of faith with a proper process of discernment and is
not to be considered only a cultural tradition or social or legal requirement.
Therefore, formation is needed to accompany the person and couple in such a way
that the life experience of the entire ecclesial community can be united with
the teaching of the contents of the faith.
85. To make the vocation of Christian marriage understood requires improving
marriage preparation, particularly the catechesis before marriage — sometimes
poor in content presently — which is an essential part of ordinary pastoral
care. It is important that the spouses responsibly cultivate their faith, based
on the teaching of the Church, which needs to be presented in a clear,
understandable manner.
The pastoral care of engaged couples also ought to be a part of the overall
commitment of the Christian community to present the Gospel message concerning
the dignity of the person, a person’s freedom and a respect for human rights, in
a proper and convincing way.
86. In the cultural change taking place, models running contrary to the Christian
vision of the family are oftentimes presented, if not actually imposed.
Consequently, training courses are to provide educational programs which can
help people express adequately their desire for love in a proper language of
sexuality. In today's social and cultural context, where sexuality is often
separated from the overall workings of true love, the family, while maintaining
its privileged spot in education, cannot be the only place for teaching
sexuality. This calls for devising, within the framework of the pastoral support
of families, true and proper programmes which are addressed to both individuals
and couples — with special attention to those at the age of puberty and
adolescence — so they can discover the beauty of sexuality in love.
Indications in some countries point to the presence of formation programmes
imposed by public authority whose content is contrary to a properly human and
Christian conception. In this regard, conscientious objection on the part of
educators is decidedly a right to be upheld.
The Formation of Future Priests
87. (37) The synod fathers repeatedly called for a thorough renewal of
the Church’s pastoral practice in light of the Gospel of the Family and for
replacing its current emphasis on individuals. For this reason, the synod
fathers repeatedly insisted on renewal in the training of priests, deacons,
catechists and other pastoral workers with a greater involvement of families.
88. A priestly vocation is born within a man’s own family and is nourished by
that family’s witness to the faith. A widely held perception indicates a growing
need to include families, particularly the presence of women, in priestly
formation. Some recommend that, in the course of their formation, seminarians
spend congruent periods of time living with their families, receive guidance in
gaining experience in the pastoral care of the family and acquire adequate
knowledge of the situation of the family in these times. That some seminarians
come from difficult family backgrounds also needs to be taken into
consideration. The presence of the laity and families, even in the years of
seminary formation, is seen as beneficial, so that candidates for the priesthood
might understand the distinctive value of the two different vocations. Formation
for the ordained ministry cannot overlook emotional and psychological
development as well as the seminarian’s direct participation in adequate related
programmes.
The Formation of the Clergy and Pastoral Workers
89. In the ongoing formation of the clergy and pastoral workers, some wish that
appropriate means be employed in achieving the emotional and psychological
development which will be indispensable for them in the pastoral care of
families. Some suggest that a diocesan office for the family and other pastoral
offices intensify their collaboration for a more effective pastoral activity.
The Family and Public Institutions
90. (38) They equally highlighted the fact that evangelization needs to
denounce with clarity cultural, social, political and economic factors, such as
the excessive importance given to market logic, that prevent authentic family
life and lead to discrimination, poverty, exclusion, and violence. Consequently,
dialogue and cooperation need to be developed with the social entities and
encouragement given to Christian lay people who are involved, as Christians, in
the cultural and socio-political fields.
91. Given that the family is "the first and vital cell of society" (AA,
11), the family ought to rediscover its vocation of involvement in all aspects
of living in society. Essentially, families, in gathering together, need to find
ways to interact with public, economic and cultural institutions so they can
build a more just society.
An evaluation of all areas of society indicates that collaborating with
public institutions is not always easy. Indeed, many institutions promote
conceptions of the family which are not in keeping with the Christian view or
the sense of the family based on nature. The Church’s members come in contact
with different anthropological models which often affect and radically change
their way of thinking.
Family associations and Catholic movements ought to work together to bring to
the attention of social and civic institutions the authentic needs of the family
and speak out against those practices which affect its stability.
The Socio-Political Commitment on Behalf of the Family
92. Christians ought to engage directly in the socio-political life by actively
participating in the decision-process and introducing the Church’s social
doctrine into discussions with institutions. This commitment would foster the
development of appropriate programmes to assist young people and needy families
at risk of social isolation and exclusion.
At various national and international levels, reproposing the Charter of
the Rights of the Family might prove useful, as well as highlighting its
connection to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
Indigence and the Danger of Usury
93. Many families living in economic poverty as a result of unemployment or job
insecurity or the unusually high number of children or the lack of social
assistance and healthcare as well as families often unable to receive credit,
fall victim to usury. This situation prompted the suggestion that economic
structures of support be created to assist these families.
Accompanying Engaged Couples in their Preparation for Marriage
94.
(39) The complex social reality and the changes affecting the
family today require a greater effort on the part of the whole Christian
community in preparing those who are about to be married. The importance of the
virtues needs to be included. Among these, chastity proves invaluable in the
genuine growth of love between persons. In this regard, the synod fathers
jointly insisted on the need to involve the entire community more extensively by
favouring the witness of families themselves and including preparation for
marriage in the course of Christian Initiation as well as emphasizing the
connection between marriage, Baptism and the other sacraments. Likewise, they
felt that specific programmes were needed in preparing couples for marriage,
programmes that create a true experience of participation in ecclesial life and
thoroughly treat the various aspects of family life.
95. Some hope that more topics be included in programmes of marriage preparation
so they can better provide instruction for people in matters of faith and love.
These programmes ought to be planned so individuals and married couples can
discern their vocation. This calls for better collaboration among various
pastoral initiatives — youth, family catechesis, movements and associations — so
as to give more of an ecclesial sense to the formation process.
Others emphasize the need for a renewal of the pastoral care of the family in
the context of a broader pastoral programme which can provide comprehensive
formation at every stage in life, including the act and value of witnessing.
Marriage preparation programmes might also include married couples who are in a
position to give guidance to engaged couples before their wedding and in the
initial years of married life, thereby giving special value to the service of
married people.
Accompanying Married Couples in the Initial Years of Marriage
96. (40) The initial years of marriage are a vital and sensitive period
during which couples become more aware of the challenges and meaning of married
life. Consequently, pastoral accompaniment needs to go beyond the actual
celebration of the Sacrament (FC, Part III). In this regard, experienced
couples are of great importance in any pastoral activity. The parish is the
ideal place for these experienced couples to be of service to younger couples,
with the possible cooperation of associations, ecclesial movements and new
communities. Married couples need encouragement in a basic openness to the great
gift of children. The importance of family spirituality, prayer and
participation in the Sunday Eucharist needs emphasis so couples might be
encouraged to meet regularly to promote growth in their spiritual life and
solidarity in the concrete demands of life. Meaningful liturgies, devotional
practices and the Eucharist celebrated for families, especially on the wedding
anniversary, were mentioned as vital factors in fostering evangelization through
the family.
97. In the initial years of married life, couples often tend to keep to
themselves, resulting in isolation from the society. For this reason, newlyweds
need to experience the nearness of the community. Everyone agrees that sharing
experiences of married life might help younger families develop a greater
awareness of the beauty and challenges of marriage. The growth of a family to
maturity calls for a strengthening of the network of relationships among couples
and their creating meaningful ties. Since movements and Church groups
principally offer and ensure these moments of growth and formation, some wished
that these associations make a greater effort to accompany young, newly married
couples in a consistent manner, especially at the diocesan level.
Chapter III
The Family and Accompaniment by the Church
Pastoral Care for Couples Civilly Married or Living Together
98. (41) While continuing to proclaim and foster Christian marriage,
the Synod also encourages pastoral discernment of the situations of a great many
who no longer live this reality. Entering into pastoral dialogue with these
persons is needed to distinguish elements in their lives that can lead to a
greater openness to the Gospel of Marriage in its fullness. Pastors ought to
identify elements that can foster evangelization and human and spiritual growth.
A new element in today’s pastoral activity is a sensitivity to the positive
aspects of civilly celebrated marriages and, with obvious differences,
cohabitation. While clearly presenting the Christian message, the Church also
needs to indicate the constructive elements in these situations that do not yet
or no longer correspond to it.
99. Since the Sacrament of Matrimony is an indissoluble and exclusively faithful
union between a man and a woman who are called to receive one another and
welcome life, Christian marriage is a great grace for the human family. The
Church has the duty and the mission to proclaim this grace to each person in
every circumstance. The Church also ought to accompany those in a civil marriage
or those living together in a gradual discovery of "the seeds of the Word" which
lie hidden, so as to value them until the fullness of union in the Sacrament
might be achieved.
The Path Leading towards the Sacrament of Marriage
100. (42) The synod fathers also noted that in many countries "an
increasing number of people live together ad experimentum, in unions that
have not been religiously or civilly recognized" (IL, 81). In some
countries, this occurs especially in traditional marriages that are arranged
between families and often celebrated in different stages. Other countries are
witnessing a continual increase in the number of those who, after having lived
together for a long period, request the celebration of marriage in Church.
Simply to live together is often a choice based on a general attitude opposed to
anything institutional or definitive; it can also be done while awaiting more
security in life (a steady job and steady income). Finally, in some countries de
facto marriages are very numerous, not only because of a rejection of values
concerning the family and matrimony but primarily because celebrating a marriage
is considered too expensive in the social circumstances. As a result, material
poverty leads people into de facto unions.
101. (43) All these situations require a constructive response, seeking
to transform them into opportunities that can lead to the fullness of marriage
and family in conformity with the Gospel. These couples need to be provided for
and guided patiently and discreetly. With this in mind, the witness of authentic
Christian families is particularly appealing and important as agents in the
evangelization of the family.
102. The choice of civil marriage or, in some cases, simply "living together" is
very often not a result of prejudice or an aversion to sacramental union but
instead linked to cultural or contingent situations. In many circumstances, the
decision to live together is a sign of a relationship which wants to be built
and opened to the prospects of personal fulfilment. The determination of a
couple, which becomes translated into an enduring bond, stable and open to life,
can be considered a condition for embarking on a journey of growth which can
perhaps lead to a sacramental marriage — a possible good which ought to be
proclaimed as a gift to enrich and strengthen married life and the family,
instead of as a difficult ideal to achieve.
103. To address this pastoral need, the members of the Christian community,
especially at the local level, might work together on reinforcing how they
receive people in their midst. The dynamics of pastoral relationships on a
personal level can provide a solid basis for a sound teaching method which,
inspired by grace and in a respectful manner, might foster the gradual opening
of minds and hearts to the fullness of God's plan. In this regard, Christian
families who bear witness with their lives to the truth of the Gospel have an
important role to play.
Caring for Wounded Families (Persons who are Separated, Divorced and Not
Remarried, Divorced and Remarried and Single-Parent Families)
104. (44) Married couples with problems in their relationship should be
able to count on the assistance and guidance of the Church. The pastoral work of
charity and mercy seeks to help persons recover and restore relationships.
Experience shows that with proper assistance and acts of reconciliation, though
grace, a great percentage of troubled marriages find a solution in a satisfying
manner. To know how to forgive and to feel forgiven is a basic experience in
family life. Forgiveness between husband and wife permits a couple to experience
a never-ending love that does not pass away (cf. 1 Cor 13:8). At times,
this is difficult, but those who have received God’s forgiveness are given the
strength to offer a genuine forgiveness that regenerates persons.
Forgiveness in the Family
105. In family relations, the need of reconciliation is practically a daily
occurrence for various reasons. Misunderstandings due to the relationships
within one’s family, friction because of different ingrained habits, diverse
approaches to bringing up the children, anxiety over economic difficulties and
tensions arising from a loss of work are just a few of the reasons which
presently create conflict. Resolving these situations requires a continual
willingness to understand others and forgive each other. The arduous art of
restoring calm to relationships calls for not only the support of grace but also
the willingness to seek outside help. In this regard, the Christian community
ought to demonstrate a real readiness to offer assistance.
The most painful situations, such as marital infidelity, require a true and
proper work of repair, which both consider possible. A broken spousal
relationship can be re-established; this hope needs to be taught from the very
beginning of marriage preparation.
In this case, the importance of the action of the Holy Spirit needs to be
mentioned in the care of such people and wounded families. At the same time,
this spiritual journey needs to be accompanied by duly prepared ministers.
Indeed, the truth is that the Spirit, "whom the Church calls ‘the light of
consciences’ penetrates and fills ‘the depths of the human heart.’ Through just
such a conversion in the Holy Spirit a person becomes open to forgiveness" (DeV,
45).
"The Great River of Mercy"
106. (45) The necessity for courageous pastoral choices was
particularly evident at the Synod. Strongly reconfirming their faithfulness to
the Gospel of the Family and acknowledging that separation and divorce are
always wounds that cause deep suffering to the married couple and to their
children, the synod fathers felt the urgent need to embark on a new pastoral
course based on the present reality of weaknesses within the family, knowing
oftentimes that these are more "endured" with suffering than freely chosen.
These situations vary because of personal, cultural and socio-economic factors.
Therefore, solutions need to be considered in a variety of ways, as suggested by
Pope St. John Paul II (cf. FC, 84).
107. Almost everyone agrees that taking care of wounded families and allowing them
to experience the infinite mercy of God is fundamental. People differ, however,
on the approach to be used. On the one hand, some consider it necessary to
encourage those who live in non-marital partnerships to undertake a road of
return, leading backward. On the other hand, others support inviting these
people to look forward, to leave their prison of anger, disappointment, pain and
loneliness and to continue on the road ahead. Of course, others say, the art of
accompaniment requires a prudent and merciful discernment process, not to
mention an ability to grasp the real diversity in individual situations.
108. Everyone needs to remember that the failure of a marriage is always a defeat
for everyone. Consequently, after becoming aware of one’s proper responsibility,
each needs to regain trust and hope. Everyone has a need to give and receive
mercy. In every case, justice is to be promoted for all parties involved in a
failed marriage (spouses and children).
The Church has the duty to ask the spouses who are separated and divorced to
conduct themselves with respect and mercy, especially for the good of the
children, who should not have to endure further suffering. Some call for the
Church to show a similar attitude towards those who have failed in marriage.
"From the heart of the Trinity, from the depths of the mystery of God, the great
river of mercy wells up and overflows unceasingly. It is a spring that will
never run dry, no matter how many people draw from it. Every time someone is in
need, he or she can approach it, because the mercy of God never ends" (MV,
25).
The Art of Accompaniment
109. (46) All families should, above all, be treated with respect and
love and accompanied on their journey as Christ accompanied the disciples on the
road to Emmaus. In a particular way, the words of Pope Francis apply in these
situations: "The Church will have to initiate everyone – priests, religious and
laity – into this ‘art of accompaniment’, which teaches us to remove our sandals
before the sacred ground of the other (cf. Ex 3:5). The pace of this
accompaniment must be steady and reassuring, reflecting a closeness and
compassion which, at the same time, heals, liberates and encourages growth in
the Christian life" (EG, 169).
110. Many were pleased with the synod father’s reference to the figure of Jesus
who accompanies the disciples on the road to Emmaus. For the Church, drawing
near to the family as a companion on a journey means to adopt a prudent and
differentiated mentality. At times, this means to be at one’s side and to listen
in silence; at other times, to stand in front to indicate the way forward; and
at still other times, to stand behind to support and to encourage. The Church
makes this way of acting her own in sharing the joys and the hopes, the sorrows
and the anxieties of each family.
111. Indications in the pastoral care of the family reveal major support being
offered by movements and ecclesial associations, where the aspect of community
is greatly emphasized and expressed in life. At the same time, preparing priests
specifically for this ministry of consolation and care is important. Many
expressed the desire that specialized centres be established, where priests
and/or religious might learn how to care for families, especially those enduring
hardship, and might commit themselves to accompanying them within the Christian
community, which is not always prepared to support this task adequately.
Persons who are Separated and Divorced but Remain Faithful to their Marriage
Vows
112. (47) A special discernment is indispensable for pastorally guiding
persons who are separated, divorced or abandoned. Respect needs to be primarily
given to the suffering of those who have unjustly endured separation, divorce or
abandonment, or those who have been forced by maltreatment from a husband or a
wife to interrupt their life together. To forgive such an injustice that has
been suffered is not easy, but grace makes this journey possible. Pastoral
activity, then, needs to be geared towards reconciliation and mediation of
differences, which might even take place in specialized "listening centres"
established in dioceses. At the same time, the synod fathers emphasized the
necessity of addressing, in a faithful and constructive fashion, the
consequences of separation or divorce on children, in every case the innocent
victims of the situation. Children must not become an "object" of contention.
Instead, every suitable means ought to be sought to ensure that they can
overcome the trauma of a family break-up and grow as serenely as possible. In
each case, the Church is always to point out the injustice that very often is
associated with divorce. Special attention is to be given in the guidance of
single-parent families, so that women who have to bear alone the responsibility
of providing a home and raising their children can receive assistance.
God Never Abandons Anyone
113. From various parts of the world, many noted that a merciful attitude towards
those whose marital relationship has failed requires paying attention to the
different objective and subjective aspects which led to the break-up. Many
indicate that the dramatic effects of separation can often go so far as to
result in long periods of conflict which, in the case of children, also produce
great suffering. Such a situation is further exacerbated by loneliness which is
caused by abandonment or from mustering the strength to discontinue living
together because of continuous, grave mistreatment. These situations stand in
need of the special care and concern of the Christian community, especially with
regard to single-parent families, where economic problems can arise due to job
insecurity, the difficulty of raising a child or for want of a place to live.
Those who do not enter into a new relationship and remain faithful to their
marriage vows, deserve acknowledgment and support from the Church, which must
reveal to them the face of a God who never abandons anyone and is always ready
to restore strength and hope.
Streamlining the Annulment Procedure and the Importance of Faith in Cases of
Nullity
114. (48) A great number of synod fathers emphasized the need to make
the procedure in cases of nullity more accessible and less time-consuming, and,
if possible, at no expense. They proposed, among others, the dispensation of the
requirement of second instance for confirming sentences; the possibility of
establishing an administrative means under the jurisdiction of the diocesan
bishop; and a simple process to be used in cases where nullity is clearly
evident. Some synod fathers, however, were opposed to these proposals, because
they felt that they would not guarantee a reliable judgment. In all these cases,
the synod fathers emphasized the primary character of ascertaining the truth
about the validity of the marriage bond. Among other proposals, the role which
faith plays in persons who marry could possibly be examined in ascertaining the
validity of the Sacrament of Marriage, all the while maintaining that the
marriage of two baptized Christians is always a sacrament.
115. There is strong agreement on the opportunity of making annulment procedures
for marriage more accessible, less time-consuming and possibly free of charge.
Regarding expenses, some suggest that dioceses provide a continuing service
of marriage counselling at no expense. On the question of second instance for
confirming sentences, a significant number are in favour of eliminating it, yet
leaving the possibility of appeal to the defender of the bond or either of the
parties concerned. On the contrary, no agreement exists on whether the diocesan
bishop might assume responsibility for the procedure; some point out problem
areas. Nevertheless, a significant number agree on the possible use of the
summary process in canon law in clear cases of nullity.
In cases of the validity of consent in marriage, most agreed on the
importance of the faith of those to be married and suggested a variety of
approaches to be examined further.
The Preparation of Workers and an Increase in the Number of Tribunals
116. (49) With respect to marriage cases, the streamlining of the
procedure, requested by many synod fathers, in addition to the preparation of a
sufficient number of persons — clerics and lay people — primarily dedicated to
this work will require increased responsibility of the diocesan bishop. This
work could be done through specially trained counsellors who would be able to
offer free advice to the concerned parties on the validity of their marriage.
This work could be done in an office or by qualified persons (cf. DC,
art. 113, 1).
117. One proposal wanted each diocese to provide, at no charge, information,
counselling and mediation in matters related to the pastoral care of families,
especially for those in troubled marriages and those who are separated. An
effective service of this kind could help people undertake a judicial process,
which in the history of the Church seems to be the most reliable way of
discerning and ascertaining the true validity of a marriage. In addition, the
request came from various parts of the world for an increased number of
ecclesiastical courts and greater decentralization in their regard and for
providing them with qualified and competent personnel.
Pastoral Approaches in Common
118. (50) Divorced people who have not remarried, who oftentimes bear
witness to their promise of faithfulness in marriage, ought to be encouraged to
find in the Eucharist the nourishment they need to sustain them in their present
state of life. The local community and pastors ought to accompany these people
with solicitude, particularly when children are involved or when they are in
serious financial difficulty.
119. In addition to attention to concrete situations, many feel the added
necessity of fostering pastoral initiatives in common, the absence of which
leads to greater confusion and division and produces grave suffering in those
enduring a failed marriage, who sometimes feel unfairly judged. For example,
some persons in the Church, who are separated and have not entered into a new
relationship, wrongfully think that their separation is a sin which keeps them
from receiving the sacraments. Furthermore, persons who are divorced and civilly
remarried and are living in continence for various reasons, do not know that
they can receive the sacraments in a place where their condition is unknown.
Some of those in situations of irregular unions who have chosen, in the internal
forum, a life of continence, can have access to the sacraments, while being
careful to avoid scandal. These examples show the Church’s need to offer clear
guidance, so that her children, who are in special situations, do not feel a
sense of discrimination.
The Integration of Divorced and Civilly Remarried Persons in the Christian
Community
120. (51) Likewise, those who are divorced and remarried require careful
discernment and an accompaniment of great respect. Language or behaviour that
might make them feel an object of discrimination should be avoided, all the
while encouraging them to participate in the life of the community. The
Christian community’s care of such persons is not to be considered a weakening
of its faith and testimony to the indissolubility of marriage, but, precisely in
this way, the community is seen to express its charity.
121. Many parties request that the attention to and the accompaniment of persons
who are divorced and civilly remarried take into account the diversity of
situations and be geared towards a greater integration of them into the life of
the Christian community. Without prejudice to the recommendations made in Familiaris Consortio 84, some suggest that the forms of exclusion currently
followed in liturgical and pastoral practice be re-examined as well as those in
education and charitable activity. Since these persons are still part of the
Church, the aim is to reflect on the opportunity to eliminate these forms of
exclusion. Furthermore, to promote a greater integration of these persons into
the Christian community, specific attention needs to given to the best interest
of their children, given the irreplaceable role parents have in raising their
children.
Before integrating persons who are divorced and civilly remarried into
pastoral life, some recommend that: pastors duly discern the impossibility of
abandoning their situation and the life of faith of the couple in the new
relationship; the process be accompanied by raising the sensitivity of the
Christian community to receive these persons; and this work be done according to
the law of gradualness (cf. FC, 34), while respecting the maturation of
consciences.
A Way of Penance
122. (52) The synod fathers also considered the possibility of giving
the divorced and remarried access to the Sacraments of Penance and the
Eucharist. Various synod fathers insisted on maintaining the present discipline,
because of the constitutive relationship between participation in the Eucharist
and communion with the Church as well as her teaching on the indissoluble
character of marriage. Others proposed a more individualized approach,
permitting access in certain situations and with certain well-defined
conditions, primarily in irreversible situations and those involving moral
obligations towards children who would have to endure unjust suffering. Access
to the sacraments might take place if preceded by a penitential practice,
determined by the diocesan bishop. The subject needs to be thoroughly examined,
bearing in mind the distinction between an objective sinful situation and
extenuating circumstances, given that "imputability and responsibility for an
action can be diminished or even nullified by ignorance, inadvertence, duress,
fear, habit, inordinate attachments, and other psychological or social factors"
(CCC, 1735).
123. Concerning the aforementioned subject, a great number agree that
a journey of reconciliation or penance, under the auspices of the local bishop,
might be undertaken by those who are divorced and civilly remarried, who find
themselves in irreversible situations. In reference to Familiaris Consortio,
84, the suggestion was made to follow a process which includes: becoming aware
of why the marriage failed and the wounds it caused; due repentance;
verification of the possible nullity of the first marriage; a commitment to
spiritual communion; and a decision to live in continence.
Others refer to a way of penance, meaning a process of clarifying matters
after experiencing a failure and a reorientation which is to be accompanied by a
priest who is appointed for this purpose. This process ought to lead the party
concerned to an honest judgment of his/her situation. At the same time, the
priest himself might come to a sufficient evaluation as to be able to suitably
apply the power of binding and loosing to the situation.
In order to examine thoroughly the objective situation of sin and the moral
culpability of the parties, some suggest considering The Letter to the
Bishops of the Catholic Church concerning the Reception of Holy Communion by the
Divorced and Remarried Members of the Faithful of the Congregation for the
Doctrine of the Faith (4 September 1994) and The Declaration concerning the
Admission to Holy Communion of the Faithful who are Divorced and Remarried
of the Pontifical Council for Legislative Texts (24 June 2000).
Spiritual Participation in Church Communion
124. (53) Some synod fathers maintained that divorced and remarried
persons or those living together can have fruitful recourse to a spiritual
communion. Others raised the question as to why, then, they cannot have access
to sacramental Communion. As a result, the synod fathers requested that further
theological study in the matter with a view to making clear the distinctive
features of the two forms and their connection with the theology of marriage.
125. The Church’s work of incorporating her members in Christ, begun in Baptism —
even in the case of those who are divorced and civilly remarried — takes place
in stages through a continual conversion. In this process people are invited in
different ways to conform their lives to the Lord Jesus, who, with his grace,
sustains them in ecclesial communion. In reference again to Familiaris
Consortio, 84, the recommended forms of participation are: listening to the
Word of God, participation in the celebration of the Eucharist, perseverance in
prayer, works of charity, initiatives in the community fostering justice, the
formation of children in the faith and a spirit of penance, all of which are
supported by the Church’s prayer and kindhearted witness. The fruit of this
participation is the communion of believers with the whole community, which is
an expression of being incorporated into the Church as the Body of Christ. It is
important to remember that spiritual communion, which presupposes conversion and
the state of grace, is connected to sacramental communion.
Mixed Marriages and Marriages of Disparity of Cult
126. (54) The problems relative to mixed marriages were frequently
raised in the interventions of the synod fathers. The differences in the
matrimonial regulations of the Orthodox Churches creates serious problems in
some contexts, which require due consideration from the point of view of
ecumenism. Analogously, the contribution of the dialogue with other religions
would be important for interreligious marriages.
127. Mixed marriages and marriages of disparity of cult have many critical aspects
which are not easily resolved, not so much at the legislative level as the
pastoral level. These marriages pose a series of problems to be confronted; for
example, the religious upbringing of children; participation in the liturgical
life of the spouse, as is the case in mixed marriages with persons baptized in
other Christian confessions; and sharing spiritual experiences with a spouse
belonging to another religion or even an unbeliever in search of God. Such
situations would call for formulating a policy of behaviour in which neither
spouse would impede the journey of faith of the other. Consequently, dealing
constructively with differences regarding the faith would necessitate paying
particular attention to people who are actually living in these marriages and
not simply to couples during the period of preparation before the wedding.
128. Some suggest that mixed marriages might be considered as cases of "grave
necessity," in which it is possible that a baptized person who is not in full
communion with the Catholic Church, yet shares the Church’s faith in the
Eucharist, be allowed to receive the Eucharist, when their pastors are not
available and taking into account the criteria of the ecclesial community to
which they belong (cf. EdE, 45-46; Pontifical Council for Promoting
Christian Unity, Directory for the Application of Principles and Norms on
Ecumenism, 25 March 1993, 122-128).
The Special Nature of the Orthodox Tradition
129. Those who make reference to the matrimonial practice of the Orthodox Churches
ought to bear in mind the difference in these Churches’ theological
understanding of marriage. The Orthodox Churches link the practice of blessing a
second union to the notion of "economy" )oikonomia(, understood to be a
pastoral accommodation towards failed marriages, without calling into question
the ideal of an absolute monogamous relationship or the uniqueness of marriage.
In itself, this blessing is a penitential celebration to invoke the grace of the
Holy Spirit, so that human weakness might be healed and the penitent might be
restored to communion with the Church.
Pastoral Attention towards Persons with Homosexual Tendencies
130. (55) Some families have members who have a homosexual tendency. In
this regard, the synod fathers asked themselves what pastoral attention might be
appropriate for them in accordance with Church teaching: "There are absolutely
no grounds for considering homosexual unions to be in any way similar or even
remotely analogous to God's plan for marriage and family." Nevertheless, men and
women with a homosexual tendency ought to be received with respect and
sensitivity. "Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be
avoided" (Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Considerations
Regarding Proposals to Give Legal Recognition to Unions Between Homosexual
Persons, 4).
131. The following point needs to be reiterated: every person, regardless of
his/her sexual orientation, ought to be respected in his/her human dignity and
received with sensitivity and great care in both the Church and society. It
would be desirable that dioceses devote special attention in their pastoral
programmes to the accompaniment of families where a member has a homosexual
tendency and of homosexual persons themselves.
132. (56) Exerting pressure in this regard on the Pastors of the Church
is totally unacceptable: it is equally unacceptable for international
organizations to link their financial assistance to poorer countries with the
introduction of laws that establish "marriage" between persons of the same sex.
Chapter IV
The Family, Procreation and Upbringing
The Transmission of Life and the Challenges of a Declining Birthrate
133. (57) Today, the diffusion of a mentality that reduces the
generation of human life to one variable of an individual’s or couple’s plans is
easily observable. Sometimes, economic factors are burdensome, contributing to a
sharp drop in the birthrate that weakens the social fabric, compromises
relations between generations and renders a future outlook more uncertain.
Openness to life is an intrinsic requirement of married love. In this regard,
the Church supports families who accept, raise and surround with affection
children with various disabilities.
134. Some see a need to continue to make known the documents of the Church’s
Magisterium which promote the culture of life in the face of the increasingly
widespread culture of death. In this regard, great importance is given to some
centres engaged in research in human fertility and infertility, research which
is fostering a dialogue between Catholic bio-ethicists and scientists adept in
bio-medical technology. Pastoral activity on behalf of the family should involve
more Catholic bio-medical specialists in preparing couples for marriage and in
accompanying married people.
135. Some urgently call for Christians involved in the political life to make
appropriate and responsible choices in passing laws which promote and defend
life. Just as the Church's voice on these issues is heard at the socio-political
level, every effort should be made to establish a dialogue with international
bodies and policy makers in order to promote respect for human life, from
conception to natural death. In this regard, special care needs to be given to
families with disabled children.
Responsible Parenthood
136. (58) Pastoral work in this area needs to start with listening to
people and acknowledging the beauty and truth of an unconditional openness to
life, which is needed, if human love is to be lived fully. This serves as the
basis for an appropriate teaching regarding the natural methods for responsible
procreation, which allow a couple to live, in a harmonious and conscious manner,
the loving communication between husband and wife in all its aspects along with
their responsibility at procreating life. In this regard, we should return to
the message of the Encyclical Humanae Vitae of Blessed Pope Paul VI,
which highlights the need to respect the dignity of the person in morally
assessing methods in regulating births. The adoption of children, orphans and
the abandoned and accepting them as one’s own is a specific form of the family
apostolate (cf. AA, III, 11), and has oftentimes been called for and
encouraged by the Magisterium (cf. FC, III, II; EV, IV, 93). The
choice of adoption or foster parenting expresses a particular fruitfulness of
married life, not simply in the case of sterility. Such a choice is a powerful
sign of family love and an occasion to witness to one’s faith and to restore the
dignity of a son or daughter to a person who has been deprived of this dignity.
137. In relation to the rich content of Humanae Vitae and the issues it
treats, two principal points emerge which always need to be brought together.
One element is the role of conscience as understood to be God's voice resounding
in the human heart which is trained to listen. The other is an objective moral
norm which does not permit considering the act of generation a reality to be
decided arbitrarily, irrespective of the divine plan of human procreation. A
person’s over-emphasizing the subjective aspect runs the risk of easily making
selfish choices. An over-emphasis on the other results in seeing the moral norm
as an insupportable burden and unresponsive to a person’s needs and resources.
Combining the two, under the regular guidance of a competent spiritual guide,
will help married people make choices which are humanly fulfilling and ones
which conform to God’s will.
Adoption and Foster Parenting
138. To provide families for the many children who are abandoned, many ask that
more attention be given to the importance of adoption and foster care. In this
regard, it must be emphasized that raising a child has to be based on the
differences between the sexes as in procreation, which also takes place in the
act of conjugal love between a man and a woman, both of whom are indispensable
for the integral formation of a child.
In those cases where a child is sometimes wanted "as one’s own" and in
whatever way possible — as if the child were simply an extension of one’s own
wishes and desires — adoption and foster care, properly understood, illustrate
an important aspect of parenting and raising children, in that they help parents
recognize that children, whether natural, adopted or in foster care, are
"persons other than one’s self" and, therefore, need to be accepted, loved, and
cared for and not just "brought into the world."
On this basis, adoption and foster care should be appreciated and further
treated, even within the theology of marriage and the family.
Human Life: An Intangible Mystery
139. (59) Affectivity needs assistance, also in marriage, as a path to
maturity in the ever-deepening acceptance of the other and an ever-fuller gift
of self, in this sense, the necessity of offering programmes of formation that
nourish married life and the importance of the laity, providing an accompaniment
that consists in a vibrant witness, was reiterated. Undoubtedly, the example of
a faithful and deep love is of great assistance; a love shown in tenderness and
respect; a love that is capable of growing over time; and a love that, in the
very act of opening itself to the generation of life, gives an experience of a
mystery that transcends us.
140. Life is a gift of God and a transcendent mystery. Consequently, in no manner
must persons at the beginning of life or its end be "discarded". On the
contrary, steps ought to be taken to ensure that these stages of human life
receive special attention. Today, "human beings themselves are (too easily)
being considered consumer goods to be used and then discarded. We have created a
‘throw away’ culture which is now spreading." (EG, 53). In this regard,
the task of the family, supported by everyone in society, is to welcome an
unborn human life and take care of human life in its final stage.
141. With regard to the tragedy of abortion, the Church affirms, above all, the
sacred and inviolable character of human life and is actively committed to
defend life. Her institutions provide counsel to pregnant women, support to
single, teenage mothers and assistance to abandoned children, and are close to
those who have suffered through abortion. The Church reminds those who work in
healthcare facilities of the moral obligation of conscientious objection.
Similarly, the Church not only feels the urgency to assert the right to a
natural death, avoiding overly aggressive treatments and euthanasia, but also
provides care for the elderly, protection for people with disabilities,
assistance to the terminally ill and comfort to the dying.
The Challenge of Upbringing and the Role of the Family in Evangelization
142. (60) One of the fundamental challenges facing families today is
undoubtedly that of raising children, made all the more difficult and complex by
today’s cultural reality and the great influence of the media. Consideration,
then, needs to be given to the needs and expectations of families, capable of
being places of growth in daily life, places of a concrete and essential
transmission of the virtues that give form to our existence. Parents, then, are
able freely to choose the type of education for their children, according to
their convictions.
143. Everyone agrees that the first school in raising a child is the family and
that the Christian community offers support and assistance in the family’s
irreplaceable role in upbringing. Many see the need to provide places and
opportunities where families can meet so as to encourage parental formation and
the sharing of experiences among families. Since parents are the primary
educators and witnesses of the faith for their children, it is important that
they are actively involved in their preparation for the Sacraments of Christian
Initiation.
144. In different cultures, the adults in the family retain an irreplaceable role
in education. However, many places are witnessing a progressive weakening in the
role of parents in upbringing, because of an invasive presence of the media in
the family as well as the tendency to delegate this task to other entities. This
requires that the Church encourage and support families in their vigilant and
responsible supervision in a school’s academic and formative programmes which
affect their children.
145. (61) The Church assumes a valuable role in supporting families,
starting with Christian Initiation, by being welcoming communities. More than
ever, these communities today are to offer support to parents, in complex
situations and everyday life, in their work of raising their children,
accompanying children, adolescents and young people in their development through
personalized pastoral programmes, capable of introducing them to the full
meaning of life and encouraging them in their choices and responsibilities,
lived in the light of the Gospel. Mary, in her tenderness, mercy and maternal
sensitivity can nourish the hunger of humanity and life itself. Therefore,
families and the Christian people should seek her intercession. Pastoral work
and Marian devotion are an appropriate starting point for proclaiming the Gospel
of the Family.
146. Christian families have the duty to pass on the faith to their children, a
duty which is founded on the commitment made in the celebration of marriage.
It’s implementation, required at every stage of family life, is supported by the
Christian community. In particular, preparing children for the Sacraments of
Christian Initiation is an invaluable opportunity for parents to rediscover
their faith, as they return to the very foundation of their Christian vocation
and see in God the source of their love, which he consecrated in the Sacrament
of Matrimony.
The role of grandparents in the transmission of the faith and religious
traditions and devotions must not be forgotten. As apostles, they are
irreplaceable in families, because of their wise counsel, prayer and good
example. Participating in the Sunday liturgy, listening to the Word of God,
frequenting the sacraments and living a life of charity will ensure that parents
give a clear and credible witness of Christ to their children.
CONCLUSION
147.
This Instrumentum Laboris comes in the course of time between two
synodal assemblies which is the fruit of the pastoral creativity of Pope
Francis, who, in a year’s time, convoked two synodal assemblies on the same
topic to coincide with the fiftieth anniversary of the closing of Second Vatican
Council and the institution of the Synod of Bishops by Blessed Pope Paul VI. If
the III Extraordinary General Assembly, last Fall, helped the entire Church
focus on The Pastoral Challenges of the Family in the Context of
Evangelization, the XIV Ordinary General Assembly, scheduled for October
2015, will be called upon to reflect on The Vocation and Mission of the
Family in the Church and the Contemporary World. Moreover, the celebration
of the next Synod is to take place on the eve of the Extraordinary Holy Year of
Mercy, proclaimed by Pope Francis and set to begin on 8 December 2015.
As was the case at the previous synod, the large number of responses and
observations received by the General Secretariat of the Synod of Bishops is
indicative of the extraordinary interest and active participation of the People
of God everywhere. Although the summary of the proposals in this document are
unable to give a full account of the richness of the material which arrived from
every continent, the text, nevertheless, can serve as a dependable reflection of
the insights and perceptions of the whole Church on the crucial subject of the
family.
The work of the next Synodal assembly is entrusted to the Holy Family of
Nazareth, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, who urge "us to rediscover the vocation and
mission of the family" (Francis, General Audience, 17 December 2014).
Prayer to the Holy Family
Jesus, Mary and Joseph,
in you we contemplate
the splendour of true love,
to you we turn with trust.
Holy Family of Nazareth,
grant that our families too
may be places of communion and prayer,
authentic schools of the Gospel
and small domestic Churches.
Holy Family of Nazareth,
may families never again
experience violence, rejection and division:
may all who have been hurt or scandalized
find ready comfort and healing.
Holy Family of Nazareth,
may the approaching Synod of Bishops
make us once more mindful
of the sacredness and inviolability of the family,
and its beauty in God’s plan.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph,
graciously hear our prayer.
Amen.
© The General Secretariat of the Synod of Bishops and
Libreria Editrice
Vaticana.
This text can be reproduced by bishops' conferences, or at their
authorisation, provided that the contents are not altered in any way and two
copies of the same are sent to the General Secretariat of the Synod of Bishops,
00120 Vatican City State.
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