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"THE CARESS AND THE SMILE"
MEETING OF POPE FRANCIS WITH GRANDPARENTS, THE ELDERLY AND GRANDCHILDREN,
ORGANIZED BY THE FONDAZIONE ETÀ GRANDE (OLD AGE FOUNDATION)

ADDRESS OF HIS HOLINESS POPE FRANCIS

Paul VI Audience Hall
Saturday, 27 April 2024

[Multimedia]

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Dear grandparents and dear grandchildren, good morning and welcome!

I greet Archbishop Vincenzo Paglia and all those who collaborated to organize this moment of celebration. And particular thanks go to the many show-business personalities who wished to participate. Thank you! We all have a grandfather or a grandmother, two grandfathers, two grandmothers. Having a grandparent is a beautiful experience. But even Italy has a “grandfather”, and for this reason, I want to greet “the grandfather of Italy”, [Lino Banfi (pictured)], who is present here.

It is nice to welcome you here, grandparents and grandchildren, young and not so young. Today we see, as the Psalm says, how good it is to be together (cf. Ps 133). One has but to look at you to understand this, because there is love between you. And it is precisely on this that I would like us to reflect a moment: on the fact that love makes us better, it makes us richer and it makes us wiser, at any age.

First: love makes us better. You too show this, that you make each other better by loving each other. And I say this to you as a “grandfather”, with the desire to share the ever-youthful faith that unites all generations. I too received it from my grandmother, from whom I first learned about Jesus who loves us, who never leaves us alone, and who urges us too to be close to each other and never to exclude anyone. I still remember the first prayers my grandmother taught me. It was from her that I heard the story of that family where there was the grandfather who, since he could no longer eat easily at the table and got dirty, had been sent away to eat alone. And it was not a good thing — my grandmother told me that story… It was not a good thing, on the contrary, it was very bad! So, the grandson — continues the story my grandmother told me — the grandson tinkered around for a few days with hammer and nails, and when his dad asked him what he was doing, he replied: “I’m building a table for you, so you can eat alone when you get old!” My grandmother taught me this, and I have never forgotten this story. Do not forget it either, because it is only by being together with love, not excluding anyone, that one becomes better, one becomes more humane!

Not only this, but we also become richer. How so? Our society is full of people who are specialists in many things, rich in knowledge and useful means for everyone. However, if there is no sharing and each person thinks only of himself, all that wealth is lost; rather, it becomes an impoverishment of humanity. And this is a great risk for our time: the poverty of fragmentation and selfishness. The selfish person thinks he is more important if he puts himself in the foreground and has more things, more things… But the selfish person is the poorest, because selfishness impoverishes. Let us think, for example, of some expressions we use: when we talk about the “world of youth”, the “world of the elderly”, the “world of this or that”… But there is just one world! And it is made up of many realities that are different precisely in order to help and complement each other: generations, peoples, and all differences, if harmonized, can reveal, like the faces of a big diamond, the wondrous splendour of humanity and creation. This too is what your being together teaches us: not to let diversity create rifts between us! Not to pulverize the diamond of love, the most beautiful treasure God has given us.

At times we hear phrases such as, “Think of yourself”, “Don’t need anyone!”. They are false phrases, which mislead people into thinking that it is good not to depend on others, to do things by yourself, to live as islands, whereas these are attitudes that only create a great deal of loneliness. Such as, for example, when because of the throwaway culture, the elderly are left alone and have to spend the last years of their life far from home and from their loved ones. What do you think about this? Is it good or is it not good? No! The elderly must not be left by themselves, they must live within the family, in the community, with everyone’s affection. And if they cannot live with their families, we must go visit them and stay close to them. Let us think about it for a moment: Isn’t a world in which no one has to be afraid of living their last days alone much better? Clearly yes. So let us build this world, together, not just by devising care programmes, but by cultivating different projects of existence, in which the passing years are not considered a loss that diminishes someone, but an asset that grows and enriches everyone, and as such are appreciated and not feared.

And this brings us to the final aspect: the love that makes us wiser. It is curious: love makes us wiser. Dear grandchildren, your grandparents are the memory of a world without memory, and “when a community loses its memory, it’s over” (Address to the Community of Sant’Egidio, 15 June 2014; ore, 20 June 2014, p. 8). I ask: what is a society that loses its memory like? [They all answer: “It’s over”.] It’s over. We must not lose our memory. Listen to your grandparents, especially when they teach you, with their love and with their witness, to cultivate the most important affections, which are not obtained by force, which do not appear through success, but which fill life.

It is no coincidence that it was two elderly people, I like to think two grandparents, Simeon and Anna, who recognized Jesus when he was taken to the Temple by Mary and Joseph (cf. Lk 2:22-38). It was these two grandparents who recognized Jesus before everyone else. They welcomed him, they took him in their arms and they understood — only they understood — what was happening: that God was there, present, and that he was watching them through the eyes of a child. Do you understand? These two elderly people, only they realized, seeing the infant Jesus, that the Messiah had come, the Saviour everyone was waiting for. It was the elderly who understood the Mystery.

Elderly people wear glasses — almost all of them — but they can see far. How come? They can see far because they have lived for many years, and they have many things to teach: for example, how bad war is. A long time ago, I learned this precisely from my grandfather, who had lived in 1914, at the Piave, the first World War, and through his stories he made me understand that war is a horrible thing, that must never be done. He also taught me a beautiful song, that I still remember. Do you want me to tell you? [The young people say, “Yes!”]. Think about it well, the soldiers at the Piave sang this: General Cadorna wrote to the Queen: if you want to see Trieste, look at a postcard! It is beautiful! The soldiers used to sing it.

Turn to your grandparents and do not marginalize them, for your own good: “The marginalization of the elderly [...] corrupts all seasons of life, not just that of old age” (Catechesis, 1 June 2022). In the other diocese, I used to visit retirement homes for the elderly, and I always used to ask: “How many children do you have?” “Many, many!” “And do they come to visit you?” “Yes, yes, always” — I remember once — “they always come”. And when I left, the nurse would say to me, “How good that woman is, how she covers up for her children: they come twice a year, no more”. Grandparents are generous: they know how to cover up bad things. Please, seek out your grandparents, do not marginalize them: it is for your own good. The marginalization of the elderly corrupts all the seasons of life, not just that of old age. I like to repeat this. Instead, you learn wisdom from their strong love, and also from their frailty, which is a “magisterium” capable of teaching without the need for words, a true antidote to the hardening of the heart: it will help you not to remain stuck in the present, and to savour life as a relationship (cf. Benedict XVI, Greeting in the family home ‘Long Live the Elderly’ ‘Viva gli anziani’, 12 November 2012). But not only that: when you, grandparents and grandchildren, old and young, are together, when you see and talk to each other often, when you care for each other, your love is a breath of clean air that refreshes the world and society and makes us all stronger, beyond the bonds of kinship.

It is the message Jesus gave us too, on the cross, when he “saw his mother, and the disciple whom he loved standing near, [and] he said to his mother, ‘Woman, behold your son!’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold your mother!’ And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home” (Jn 19:26-27). With those words he entrusted to us a miracle to perform: that of loving us all as one big family.

Dear friends, thank you for being here, and thank you for what you are doing with the Età Grande Foundation! Together, united, you are an example and a gift to all. I remember you in prayer, I bless you, and please, do not forget to pray for me. Thank you, thank you very much!

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L'Osservatore Romano, Weekly Edition in English, Fifty-seventh year, number 18, Friday, 3 May 2024, p. 2-3.



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